


Everything is NOT alright!

by HitachiinTwiins



Series: Virgil needs a hug [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Panic Attacks, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, Relationship Discussions, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Swearing, They all worry and are gay for Virgil, chapter four has:
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27393085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HitachiinTwiins/pseuds/HitachiinTwiins
Summary: Roman is worried about how Virgil is acting, instead of trying to talk with him, he just... Brings it to the rest of their boyfriends.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Virgil needs a hug [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2000491
Comments: 15
Kudos: 27





	1. A messy famILY breakfast

**Author's Note:**

> Also an important note: I'm not in any way a babysitter, neither does I know how it works. Also, I don't live on EUA to understand how works should work. So this is all fiction and just to fit what I wanted to write.
> 
> Please, please, please, tell me if I need to add any more tags! I honestly don't know!
> 
> Also: English is not my first language, my first language is Portuguese. If you see grammatic errors or some phrase felt "wrong" please let me know.
> 
> Other than that, enjoy?

He was walking around his room, Virgil woke up early he barely had any sleep, in reality, Roman could count exactly the hours and minutes that his boyfriend slept and that wasn't his persona it was Logan's persona to do that! He was worried, a lot worried.

"Hey, Ro, calm down okay? It's not that family I will be back in like 6 hours I promise." Even with that assurance he still didn't like, but he couldn't do anything as the Emo Nightmare just kissed him and got out. 

"You had only 4 hours of sleep you idiot." He murmurs as he throws himself on the couch, for more that he loved Virgil that was enough, as he gets his phones and goes to the first floor knocking on the door.

"Ro ~!" A cheerful voice as he recognized as Patton opening it, placing a gentle cheek kiss. "Get in... Wait, where is Vee?" It soon dropped in a worried tone as the brunet just shocks his head. The person in question always had clothes with Kakhi and baby blue colors and that wasn't different today, Patton also had blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes, and freckles around his face.

As Roman he has brunet hair, he liked to use white and red color clothes and brown eyes, a roll of those eyes as he went to the dining room where he found Logan sitting reading. The said one had black hairs and eyes, and used always black with navy blue cloths. "Greetings Roman." As he notices the other getting in and later Patton. "Wait, Virgil isn't coming? Is he fine?

He rolled his eyes again as he just sits next to Logan. "I will talk more once the other two are here." Was all the explanation he could give, for his luck he didn't need to wait too much as another knock and Patton went there, soon he could see his twin, although he is identical he uses more of black and green, the opposite of Roman and had a mustache. It was easy to know who is who

Next to him was a red-haired guy, with amber eyes, using black and yellow, it was funny how they just went with their favorite colors, soon all of them were sitting with the food on the table. All of the other four looking to him, as he grows. "Now that is everyone here. Virgil isn't coming." He started he already knew where it was going.

"That... Is rare but not uncommon." Janus said as he looked a bit confused, not understanding why Roman was so... Worried.

"Yeah, we all have different jobs and his schedule is far messier than yours, bro." Remus was the next one to keep the track of thoughts once he does lose his tracks a lot, so it was a nice way to keep him paying attention.

"Well, that is true. But I'm worried and I want to talk about it." Roman sighed as he thinks about it before narrating what happened yesterday. "Okay, so he went to work, saying it was going to be a 12 hours shift. He would do trick-or-treat with the kid, then tuck him in and the next day he would be here at 10 am. But he didn't. Instead, he sent me a text saying he wasn't sure when he would be back because the family had a problem. To sum up... He got back home at 11 pm." He was trying to keep himself sound too annoyed by it.

"His anxiety was in the roof, he fell a bit nonverbal, he was pale, he told me he didn't eat and neither sleep all that time. And he told me that he would need to do it again tomorrow. Pass the night on this family house. Also, he slept just four hours and went to work because, as he didn't know that yesterday would take so long, he did schedule someone for today. And in between, I was taking care of him he also falls in the thinking he was a bother to me." His tone died there, it was already five years they all were together and he knew it was just his anxiety's voice saying things but it already hurt to know that he still thought like that.

Silence fell in the dining room as he looks at them. "Now you say me this is common and I shouldn't be worried."

"Hm... That sure is a problem..." Logan was the first one to speak as he looks to Roman. "Did you tried to ask him for a talk with the family?"

"Honestly? No. All that I could do yesterday was ground him, remember he didn't do anything wrong with that exercise of asking about the kid and his day. Then remembered to him that I loved him and I would still cuddle and caress him even if he didn't ask. And pretty much fall in silence, just cuddling, later he went to shower I got the food and we eat something while watching a movie. Were he falls asleep in the middle of that."

A long sigh. "Well... Since we are going to what I presume a rough week, probably weeks. Till that family doesn't ask for him. How about this: We make sure that one of us is here all the time? So when he is back whenever his work is done, one of us is at least here." It was kinda obvious that Logan would suggest that but at least it was a nice start.

"He dislikes when we change our schedule remember this." Janus said as he looks at Logan.

"Oh, I know! I will pick Logan's notebook, and we can organize it first. If it happens to have an hour without anyone we can see how to work about it." Patton said as he gets up and went to pick what he said.

"Honestly, that family doesn't know that he isn't a slave to be at their mercy?" Remus tone was sure annoyed as he started to pick some things to eat, after all, he was the only one that didn't sleep yet. "We should kill them!"

"Remus." It was all the warning that Janus gave the sadistic twin. He didn't get an answer, but as Remus, he started to pick up things to eat.

Roman fell silent, now that he put that out of his chest he relaxed a lot, soon Patton brought Logan's notebook back and they started to talk about their schedule as the more organized person just noted. After half an hour, the dining room fell silent again, although they all started to eat.

"So, from what I can see we don't need to change our schedule, we just need to make sure that we all are here when we said and it's adequate." Logan says finally as he turns the object so they can see it. "Also I don't think I need to remember, but... Just to make it clear, be careful okay? Follow the schedule the most perfect way you all can if you can't or something happens, call or text all to see if someone can be there."

They all nodded. "Can you talk to him, Lo? So maybe try to convince him to talk with the family to have some of us with him? Honestly, I'm worried about how long he can go without sleep or eat..." Roman says, he honestly felt terrible for bring that to the table and call out his emo, but they all cared for him so it was fair and right.

"Yes, I can. But only if it happens to him be with me. I honestly, don't think that pushing a talk will be good this week. Virgil isn't a kid, when he is rational, he knows that he needs the company to calm down. Obviously when he isn't..." Logan trailed off as he sighs.

"Okay, okay stop!" Patton says as he looks at Roman and Logan. "We all are worried about him okay? In on own ways. Roman, I thank you for telling us, now that we all know, we will make the compromise of helping. We all in a way or not helped him with his anxiety. So, we know how to help. Now, time to eat and keep up with our days before we all get late. Remus, you need sleep dear." The father figure of them looked to the said in the question and then turned to the rest.

"Logan, please send the schedule to me, I will send it to Vee with a kind message. He knows that in this famILY breakfast we all share our schedule so I know a way to keep him calm." Patton finished as he started to eat.

They looked at each other, it was easy to say that for more they wanted to vent it in their ways, it would just be useless. Remus could always suggest things to Janus later, where Janus would stop Remus from doing, but he would help with his creativity in a weird way to vent those annoying feelings.

Logan could always complain about it and how he wished that Virgil had some more... Care about himself. The purple hair was always worried about them, but he seemed to forget or just push himself to the last. And that wasn't healthy. Patton would for sure agree with Logan and try to help deal with those feelings.

Roman felt more relief as that he wasn't alone anymore, he knew that they all loved Virgil, although the said person seemed to forget or just, not remember it when worked up. So right now, he was just glad that this famILY worked in a nice way.


	2. Some Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some notes and Information that aren't going to be explained but it's necessary to understand.

> About Age:

\- I said they are in between 30, the difference between months.  
\- That is how it follows from Older to Younger.  
. Janus, Logan, Roman/Remus, Virgil, Patton  
\- From Janus to Patton is near a 1-year difference.

> About Height:

\- I said they are most likely the same height, the difference between inches.  
\- That is how it follows from Taller to Smaller.  
. Patton, Roman/Remus, Virgil, Logan, Janus

> About Strenght:

\- Same goes for Strenght.  
\- How I see it is like this, Strongest to Weak [although not in an unhealthy way].  
. Remus/Roman - They both work out a lot, to keep their stamina for work.  
. Patton - He used to work out a bit, mostly so he could help with anything, and to carry groceries.  
. Virgil - He does have a messy schedule to work out, but he does it weekly. So he will be able to carry kids and defend himself if needed.  
. Logan and Janus - They are normal, they don't work out, so they are very average.

> About Professions:

\- Janus is a Philosopher Teacher in a university.  
\- Logan is a Neurosurgery, he has an every other day schedule.  
\- Roman is a Theater Teacher and a Writer. He can't just do one thing, and his schedule is really messy because of this.  
\- Remus is a personal bodyguard, he is currently working at night.  
\- Virgil is a caregiver/babysitter.  
\- Patton is a veterinarian, he works from 8 am to 5 pm.

> About Hair color and eyes:

\- Virgil has purple hair, although it's dyed with green eyes.  
\- Roman and Remus has brown hair, with brown eyes. Although Remus has a Mustache.  
\- Logan has black hair and black eyes.  
\- Janus has red hair and amber eyes.  
\- Patton has blonde hair, blue eyes, and freckles.

As this goes on, I will add to this chapter ~


	3. Sleep baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil is sleepy and all he needs is some cuddles, maybe some make-out but... that isn't the focus of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fluffy and teasing, honestly it's just some kisses and some talk about sex, but nothing really happens or graphic.
> 
> This chapter, I had so much fun writing ~! I loved every minute of this.
> 
> Also, imagine that they are using Discord to chat, because yes.

Daddy: Morning Virge! Roman told us that you went to work early.  
Emo Nightmare: Oh... Fuck!  
Daddy: Language kiddo.  
Emo Nightmare: Sorry... Morning Pat, yeah I forgot that today was breakfast family day...  
Daddy: No worries. We just got worried and missed you there, that is all.  
Emo Nightmare: ... Sorry...  
Daddy: Nothing to be sorry about, now, I will send you the schedule okay? Since you weren't here Logan did it very neat and organized for you.  
Daddy sent a picture.  
Emo Nightmare: Say thanks to him, I will send him what I do know about my schedule so he can update and put it on the channel for everyone.  
Emo Nightmare: Just... Did you guys change it because of me? It's like...  
Daddy: Nope we didn't. You can confirm with them if you want.  
Emo Nightmare: Nah... I believe in you, Pat.  
Daddy: Now, I will stop interrupting your work okay? Have a nice day Vee and don't forget I love you.  
Emo Nightmare: Thanks popstar, have a nice day you too, and see you around.  
Emo Nightmare: I love you too Patton.

He smiled as he looks Patton going offline, sure he was still suspicious about the schedule thing, but... It wasn't rare that it happened, for messier their lives where they do have a lot of times together. Mostly to be able to support each other, since liking or not, Remus could get into a lot of problems if he doesn't have someone to stop him, or Roman could get writer's block and be annoyed which leads him to feel bad. So it wasn't special or anything to worry about.

As Virgil look around the house he could see the kid watching TV, looking at his wristwatch he noticed that it was three more hours till he could get home. By that time, Logan will be awake and Remus will be sleeping, that is what their schedule says. _"Maybe... I can get on Remus apartment?"_ Thinking about it, it was probably a nice idea, hence he doesn't want to sleep alone on his bed.

Three hours later, plus some more minutes till he was back he felt exhausted as he gets to his apartment to let things there and change clothes. Picking up the keys and phone he locked the door as he went to the second floor, using the keys to unlock and get in, although it wasn't locked. As he sighs and locks the door finding the brunet sleeping, he smiles softly.

And so silently and quietly he just moves under the blankets and hugs his boyfriend.

"Jan?" Sleep voice, he should know that Remus would wake up quickly by any movement at his surround.

"Sorry..." Virgil bit his lips, he wasn't sure if the other was disappointed or just trying to figure out who was there. But he sure felt a small pick of anxiety starting to kick in.

"No need, it was my bad... Hey Vee." Was all he said as he enlaced his arms around the smaller, pulling him closer in a possessive and yet protective hug. "Do you want to talk?" He offered, even though he guessed he knew the answer.

"Nah too tired... Can I sleep here?" As Remus worked during nights as a bodyguard the days/afternoons were his time to sleep, something Virgil always appreciated when he wanted to sleep at that time. He couldn't help but sleep together with someone always made him feel calmer and comfortable. Also, it would shut up any and whatever thoughts he was thinking, like right now.

"No biggies..." He could see the mustache twin close his eyes and place a small kiss on his forehead. "Night..."

"Night." A small smile as he closes his eyes.

A knock was all that was needed to Virgil wake up scared and jumping slight, although protective arms were around his waist pulling closer to the twin and that was enough for him to remember that everything was alright. He did know that Remus was a lot of protective of him, whenever he slept with the other, the caregiver would always find himself been the small spoon and having arms pulling him to his boyfriend if he woke up scared, like now.

"Remus, wake up." Janus's voice was outside the room as the purple hair moved a bit to shake the sleeping man. "Come in Jan, he is still sleeping tho..." Virgil says as he could see the red-hair getting inside and smiling at the scene.

"Virge, how are you?" The philosopher was concerned, but he tried to conceal it by laying at Virgil's other side, after all, who could deny a double hug? Passing his arms around the other, Remus wasn't that late so he could enjoy a bit of that.

"Good now... And you?" The caregiver knew that they were concerned and worried about him, but oh... That was bad if Janus was hugging him willing. Although, he supposed that it could also be because he didn't stay around the two in a while now. Surely the first one, but he couldn't deny that at least for now he could lie to himself thinking that it was the second one.

"Hey... Shut up I want to sleep more..." Remus talked in an annoyed tone interrupting their talk. "And so do Vee. Jan Jan stays quiet." As he pulls the smaller closer to rest his chin over the purple hair shoulders.

"Well, bad for you, you need to wake to work." Janus wasn't caring too much as he moves to show his phone to the lazy man.

"Oh shit! Vee is so good to cuddle that I passed my time!" Remus let go of them as he gets up quickly to move around the bedroom. Getting laughs from the other two, as Virgil enjoyed turning to the philosopher and cuddle with him hiding his face on the other's chest.

"Well, that is something I agree. So Vee, are you free tonight? I wanted your company." That is a nice way to show that he wanted the other there and to avoid the thought of bother.

"Yeah... But... What you want?" He was curious, as Janus placed the words in a nice way for him not to feel anxious about it. But the lack of plans or what they would be doing was starting to make him feel bad.

Soon those thoughts would get pushed aside as he saw a wink coming from Janus and a smirk, as his tone gets louder enough for Remus hear. "I was thinking in maybe we could make-out ~?" A teasing tone, yet he was trying to hold his laugh.

 _"Oh..."_ He got what Janus was trying to do as he smiles his face turned a bit pinkish. "Oh, I would love that baby ~. It's been a while since we were alone like that." Virgil tried to not show how talking like that was embarrassed, but he kept the teasing tone as well.

"Oh, Vee ~ You're so beautiful when you are shy." Amber eyes softened as he kissed the other, holding his cloth firmly as his lips turned in a deep kiss, his tongues dancing, and sometimes Janus would bit his boyfriend's lip.

Virgil let the other conduct that make-out and teasing, a softly moan as the other bites, holding the other's cloth possessively. He loved each of his boyfriends and loved the difference between then, Janus kisses are always filled with teasing, hot and bites, not that the other's weren't but, they are different from each other.

"HEY!" An annoyed brunet was in front of the door looking at them, he could see that Janus moved his legs over Virgils to pull him closer, nearly hopping over the caregiver. "This is too hot. Also, that is unfair! I need to go to work, but at the same time, you two like that make me want to stay." Remus was pouting while looking at both. He wasn't late, but if he wanted to keep his routine of eating something before work and if he did make out with both, he would be late.

"Well, maybe if you did wake up early, you could have enjoyed it." The philosopher let go of Virgil, who was panting and trying to catch his breath; Janus couldn't help but smile at how reddish he was. Passing his finger around the starting of puffy lips, and so placing a small kiss on them, still biting a bit in which he receives a small moan.

"Janus!" Remus alerted the other, he was way too close to jump in there and say screw up his work, it was way too hot to pass out.

Virgil had closed his eyes tight, still trying to catch his breath, he wasn't ready for that small and hot make-out. But he didn't take too much to recompose himself, for the luck of the brunet and say something. "O-Okay... Let's not make Ree call sick, okay?" Although he said that, he couldn't help but place a kiss on Janus's neck.

Janus shivered from the kiss and then smirked, as he just stayed on the bed holding the other possessively, let Virgil do some teasing with his neck letting out a shaky. "Okay." Followed by a small moan, his neck was a turn-on after all, and surely the purple-hair does know how to tease in a way he would melt.

"Fuck, you two will be the end of me. I'm off before I lose my mind. Vee my next free night is Saturday, and you have a date with me. Okay?" Remus didn't sound like Virgil had a choice, but he does know that he does have a choice to deny. Thinking about his schedule he nodded.

"Sounds good to me... Tonight is going to be so fun ~ Who do you think will top?" With that, he moved again, pulling the red-haired male in a kiss deeply as before, but this time he was sucking and biting the other's tongue leading the kiss. Where Janus couldn't help but let go of more moans and be at Virgil's mercy.

"FUCK YOU TWO! I'm off!" Remus yelled turning his back and storming off the room before things got worse for him.

After a few more bites and kisses they did ended up that teasing and just letting go of the possessiveness, now just cuddling quieter and calmer. "Well... What is the true company you wanted?" Virgil broke the silence after his heart stopped beating so loudly. 

"Oh, I wanted to do a movie night, if you feel comfortable or willing with the other three, if not I'm more than happy to be just us. Or we can have sex." The last one was more of a tease since they were just making out a few minutes ago.

"Well... I don't mind the sex part normally, but... I do prefer it if we can just... Cuddle and watch a movie. I'm too tired." Virgil was sincere as he looks Janus in the eyes. "Also... It's been a while since we watched some conspiratory movie, and I do know Patton and Roman aren't that up for that. So can be just us? Is that... Too selfish or a bother?"

"No problem and no it's not. I'm more than happy with this, after all, it does been a while since we could pass time together, let's move to my apartment and I will make the popcorn and pick up some drinks okay? You can go there and choose which movie you want to watch."

With that, they left Remus's home and went to Janus one, there Virgil looked for the movies and found one that they both would like and sit on the couch waiting for the red hair male return. After sleeping he was feeling a bit better, and his anxiety was more manageable, although it would getting himself soon with the silence. But he could do something while waiting to distract himself, like text his other boyfriend.

Emo Nightmare: I'm on Janus. I will pass the night here.  
Prince: Okay, if you need me I will be at my apartment doing work.  
Prince: Did you sleep?  
Emo Nightmare: Yeah, I came back after work and came to Remus, and cuddle with him.  
Prince: That is good!  
Emo Nightmare: Don't worry okay? I will eat some popcorn, later if I'm hungry I will get something more to eat. Well, Janus will get probably.  
Emo Nightmare: You just focus on what you need to do okay?  
Prince: Okay, okay.  
Prince: Hey Virge.  
Emo Nightmare: Yeah?  
Prince: I'm jealous.  
Emo Nightmare: LOL, you and your Brother.  
Emo Nightmare: Remus asked me on a date Saturday night.  
Emo Nightmare: Just because Janus and I were teasing him doing a small make-out while he was trying to go off for work.  
Emo Nightmare: Janus's idea, but I found it funny.  
Prince: WH-WHAT?! That piece of Duke! AND THAT SNAKE!  
Emo Nightmare: That is not an offense you know that right?  
Prince: Just... Aaaaaaargh! I'm brainstorming I can't think of a harmful nickname.  
Prince: Now I'm more Jealous!  
Emo Nightmare: Princey you don't need to.  
Prince: Too late, I'm!  
Emo Nightmare: Okay, okay, I will make it up to you okay? Just calm down.  
Prince: Fiiiiiine.  
Emo Nightmare: Not convincing. Also can imagine you rolling your eyes in disbelief.  
Prince: Okay okay you got me, I will drop it for now, but it's better to be as good as his date!  
Emo Nightmare: You two... My goodness.  
Prince: Well, I will return to work, remember I will be awake late working, but you can come if you don't want to stay with the snake.  
Emo Nightmare: Yeah. Love you.  
Prince: Love you too.  
Emo Nightmare: And... I do know it's because you love me and worry about me but...  
Emo Nightmare: You're been more protective than your brother you know that right?  
Prince: Uuuuurgh... Well, I'm the Prince my whole job is to protect and save damsels in distress.  
Emo Nightmare: Urgh, Sir Sing-a-Lot. I think I will vomit rainbows. Also, I'm not a damsel!  
Prince: Oh of course not, my dark stormy knight ~  
Emo Nightmare: Urgh, okay. I'm sorry for comparing you to your brother.  
Prince: Thanks, I do appreciate it.  
Prince: Also... Duh. I'm worried, but it's because I do love you a lot and I don't want you to feel bad or sad.  
Prince: I do know you have bad days, and I want to be there for you when and if happens.  
Prince: And no, this is not pity or neither you're a bother. It's just love.  
Prince: BUT! I'm still jealous!  
Emo Nightmare: Right, right, I will think of something okay?  
Emo Nightmare: And...  
Emo Nightmare: Thanks...  
Prince: Okay... No need to thank, Virgil. I'm just loving you how you deserve.  
Emo Nightmare: I don't know what to say... Just... Love you too.  
Emo Nightmare: Also, Janus is back, see yah.  
Prince: See yah and love you lots.

He had to chuckle while thinking Remus and Roman truly were twins, but as well he couldn't help but feel better and loved when texting Princey. It won't fix everything but for now, he felt more relief than before and his anxiety did disappear for now. Janus was back like he said to Roman, he placed himself between the philosopher's legs, resting his back on his chest and so eating some popcorn, as he asked he got a lot of cuddles which helped to relax more and more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, I believe Roman and Remus has this weird brother relationship, where they don't like to be compared to the other, but at the same time, both dispute the things they are similar. Like protection, they are very protective of Virgil and both demonstrate in different ways. Remus during sleep, and also he is the twin who likes to resolve something by killing or torturing. Roman is more like "I'm always here if you need me" way, and he is the twin who makes big things over anything that happens with Virgil. Thus why he didn't talk with Virgil instead brought to everyone.
> 
> I just love to make them opposite but at the same time, they do have a lot of things in common.


	4. Desperation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad day, bad day, really bad day... He shouldn't be there, but he should also be there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really important, but at the same time, it does have a description of bad Panic Attack/Anxiety, Self-Deprecation, and Suicide mention. Just mention of wanting to do not that the character does.
> 
> Other than that, is pretty angst ~!

Wednesday night, it was nearly 9 pm, he was tapping his finger while he waited for the uber stop and pay, quickly he was out and passing the gates, he was anxious, it was again 24 hours plus, he honestly, he needed to talk with that family but right now? He does have more important things to do.

As he stops at the entrance looking at the schedule he knew Roman wasn't there, he had a class to watch and won't be back for one hour and thirty minutes. Remus of course was working, Janus said he wasn't home because of some party with the professors so he would be back late.

Taking a deep breath he went to the first floor, knocking on the navy blue door, waiting as his anxiety started to worsen, it won't take long for Logan to open. "Virgil?" He was concerned as he looks at the other male. "Come in." Making space for the other pass, as he soon was letting go of the bag and shoes and throwing himself on the couch. "Can I help you with something?"

Logan kept his eyes on the other, trying to figure out how exactly the other was feeling, but all that he could see was a nod. _"Nonverbal... That is bad."_ He thoughts for a second before turning to Virgil. "May I go call Patton?" A shake, for a second he was at lost what he could do, instead, he moved to walk towards the anxious person and sit at his side.

Soon the purple hair was passing shaking arms around the composed male, letting his face been hiding on the other shoulders. He didn't understand why he was feeling like that but he couldn't help as he started to cry, it was silently at the start. But as soon Logan's arm was around him he couldn't help but sob and cling to the other.

Lost at what he could do he moved slightly to pick up his phone not letting go of his boyfriend but as well not move too quickly to disturb him.

Logic: Hey can you come here? Virgil is... Bad. Really bad Pat.  
Daddy: Yeah, I will be there in 10 min. Will bring some things.

The relief was all that Logan could feel before he turned to Virgil, as always he stayed there in silence, caressing his hair and pulling him closer. "I texted Patton okay?" He felt a nod coming from the crying male. "He is coming so... Vee, you don't need to hold up, okay? We are here for you. So do whatever you want." His voice was mostly gentle and as softly he could.

As the caregiver sobs got higher, he wasn't able to breathe right, starting to mix the panic with the tears and sobs. It was an ugly cry but he couldn't do anything, he just stayed there in his boyfriend's arms. It seemed an eternity, but soon he could hear the door opening and more arms around him. "Virge. Can you talk to us?" Patton tried.

"Y-yeah... Now..." Was all that he could give as an answer. Although his tone was broken and raspy, a bit lower than average.

"Can you tell me what you're thinking?" Logan asked, receiving a nod from Patton who complemented. "Doesn't need to make logic, just tell whatever you have in mind okay? So we can understand."

Virgil nodded but tried to even his breath first, so it would take him a bit more till he could talk again. "I--- Just don't know if I deserve you guys. I don't know... Hell, I don't think I'm worth all of your attention and love... I--- Hate myself. I'm ugly and can't do anything right. I--- I'm worrying you guys so much because I'm useless and can't work with myself... To be better."

It was a sequence of: "I'm ugly, worthless, useless, and can't do anything right, just worry you all, don't deserve anything good." For the next two minutes, before he changed what he was saying. "I shouldn't be here, I should... Suicide. You all would be better without me. But... I'm a selfish bitch who couldn't bring myself to do it... Instead, I'm here like a needed whore seeking attention. Bothering you and messing your night..."

He started to sob more violently, to gasp for air as his panic was getting to the limit. "I-I-I d-don't d-deserve you g-guys..." He repeated in a stuttering tone as he was having a hard time breathing again, shaking, and sobbing between the tears.

Patton and Logan weren't sure at all what brought that type of self-hatred for Virgil today, but what they do know was: That it was bad, and it was worse than normal. So Patton moved Virgil's hand over Logan's chest. "Hey Vee... We all will be quiet now okay? Can you try to follow Lo's breath?" He asked softly as he received a shake. 

Patton moved to pick up Virgil's phone and headphone to put it around his ears, playing one of his playlists, change the ceiling lights to table-lamps, which would turn the place darker but warm enough. He didn't put the music too loud, so the second-youngest could still hear them. "So can you try to follow Lo's breath now?" He received a nod this time.

It took him 20 minutes till he was somewhat calmer, he was still crying but it was less than before. "Good, now... I want you to hear us okay?" Turning the music off and taking the headphones as he receives another nod as Virgil didn't trust his voice, instead, he just kept his face buried on Logan's shoulders.

"While I do understand this is your anxiety talking, I can't say that I'm happy to hear this from you. You do deserve all the good things dear, you do deserve all the love that we can give you. We more than anyone knows how hard it is for you. We do love you a lot. And like always we will repeat it, again and again, no matter how many times." Patton said gently as he moves Virgil chin to look at him and drying the trails of tears.

"I do agree that you're worrying us Virgil, but, pay attention to this okay? The only reason for us be worried is because we care and love you. If we didn't we wouldn't be. You aren't worthless or useless, and you can do a lot of things right. We aren't expecting everyone to be perfect, no one is free of flaws, so I agree with Patton, I will repeat this as many time you need." Logan just tightened the hug.

"Now... Suicide? You will only make us feel bad about us because that would mean that we weren't able to be there when you needed, give attention, care, and love enough, to you. It would mean we failed at you. You should be here because if you weren't we wouldn't be together, I would never understand Janus. Remus and Roman wouldn't be able to have a good brother relationship, Logan and I would never be in a relationship either. Janus would just walk away from us. You do us better Virge. You aren't a bother to me, to Logan, to anyone. I will text Remus, Roman, and Janus and tell them how you're now, they will be worried, and they will want to help, and if you need I suggest you have a chat with them about this personally like we are doing now with you, you're worthy of our love and attention and I can say this from me. I do like to imagine that I know the others but I will let them say it to you with their words." Patton was holding his tears while he says those things, mostly because he can't break down now.

"Virgil... While I agree with Patton and do his words mine, you don't need to understand this now, neither accept it. But do hear and believe when I say this to you, okay? I love you." Logan knew that anxiety wasn't that easy to convince, neither to shut up, but hearing those things now he hopes that the next morning, Virgil would be better.

A nod was all that Virgil could give Logan before he cried again, clinging to the raven male, holding his shirt tight.

"How about, you two go take a bath? Then we all put in onesies, drink something warm and sweet, then we go cuddle in bed? Hearing some nice and calming music that Logan has, till we sleep." Patton suggested, he knew as good as Logan, that no matter what they say today, Virgil won't accept or understand it. So it was wiser to just bring comfort and love to pass the night.

"Tomorrow, we will make a famILY breakfast and talk about it okay?" Blue hopeful eyes looked at Virgil, although green eyes were filled with bloodshot color, puffy circles. He nodded as he looks to Logan. "So let's go." The medic said as he gets up, holding the caregiver's hand, leading to the bathroom, liking or not the raven was shorter and less strong than the purple hair.

Patton would pick up the onesies he brought to put on the bed so they could wear it and then go to the kitchen to do some hot chocolate, after that he sat on the couch with three hot mugs. Looking at his phone, it was a nice time to start a chat with the others and tell what happened.

Daddy: Hey, we need to talk but first two questions: How much till you're back, and are you free to chat now?  
Prince: It's 10:30 pm! I will be home in 30. I can read but not type too much.  
Snake: Sorry, the party is going to take most of the night. And... Same as Princey.  
Stinky: Well the first one is stupid to ask from me, but... I'm on break so I can talk, what is happening?  
Daddy: So... Vee showed up at Logan's...  
Daddy is typing...

He wasn't sure at all what to type, he had a bad taste on his mouth, he wasn't happy, he wasn't sure at all what he was feeling! Mostly sadness and worry, but he does have a lot of other feelings mixed there.

Stinky: Patton, whatever it's... You're making it worse by not typing!  
Daddy: Sorry... It's just... It's hard okay?! Whenever he is that hurt it's just...  
Snake: You're making it worse, something that I thought was impossible, because now it sounds like Virgil is physically hurt.  
Daddy: Okay sorry, I'm... Okay... I just need to calm down... Right. Wished Logan was here to explain but okay here it goes.  
Daddy: Logan sent me a text saying Virgil was here and that it was bad [I believed that he was talking about his anxiety]. I don't know if something happened while I was picking up things to do a hot chocolate for them... But...  
Daddy: When I got here, Virgil was crying...  
Daddy: 20 minutes of crying later, we were able to make him speak... And oh god... It was... Just too much. Seriously, too much...  
Daddy: Too much self-hatred... He kept saying how worthless, useless he is, how he doesn't deserve our love, how he should...  
Daddy: suicide...  
Prince: I'm going home.  
Snake: HEY @Prince! Take care! Look to both sides and get an uber! You know he will freak out if you just go back careless.  
Prince: Yeah, called an uber already when Patton typed: "So... Vee showed up at Logan's..." and didn't type anything more.  
Stinky: Do you know why?  
Daddy: I don't know why he was feeling so much of that...  
Prince: Well looking to the schedule... He passed 24 hours plus on that dammit family again. So he probably didn't sleep or eat. Because of his anxiety and thus is a lot heightened.  
Snake: Logan should have talked with him before... Hell, I should have tried to talk with him Monday! When he was better.  
Stinky: No time to remorse Jan. I can't go home now, but tomorrow I will ask for a sick day.  
Snake: I don't need to say how much it is bad for him you to do this right?  
Daddy: Janus is right.  
Stinky: Hey! He is broken! He is a mess! HE IS HURT!  
Stinky: I _really_ regret not killing them.  
Snake: Remus you know it isn't right.  
Prince: Janus is right, also tomorrow I will be free during the night brother, calm down. It's not like we had a schedule where had at least one at home.  
Stinky: I'm panicking... Right?  
Logic: You're. But I can understand it.  
Daddy: LOGAN! WHERE IS VIRGIL?!  
Logic: Calm down, he is still under the shower. I'm in the bathroom looking at him.  
Daddy: Oh... You didn't need a shower?  
Logic: Negative, just had to change clothes.  
Logic: Remus, calm down okay? We don't need two panicking right now.  
Stinky: Right... Shit someone is trying to invade. Gotta go.  
Snake: I'm on an uber, the party was boring and they didn't even notice me leaving. Home in 10.  
Prince: I'm on a uber as well, I will be home in 5.  
Logic: Hey you two, don't come directly to here okay? Go change clothes at least to pajamas.  
Snake: Sure.  
Prince: Uuuuurgh... Fine.  
Daddy: I... Logan...  
Logic: We will do what we can do now okay? Tomorrow we can talk to him, about convincing the family to let one of us with him.  
Daddy: He is...  
Prince: Patton, you saying this doesn't help us, neither him, neither you.  
Snake: Princey is mostly right. You're filling our worries, isn't helping him, and well it does help you vent and let go of those feelings, but... It's not the right time to you vent.  
Daddy: Right...  
Stinky: Repression is bad Jan Jan, and I know it better than anyone. Daddy, don't repress it and just tell.  
Snake: Shouldn't you be stopping an invasion?  
Stinky: False alarm, it was some drunk touching the fence.  
Stinky: So spit out Pat, what you're thinking.  
Logic: And Remus is right, not only repression isn't helping, but we do need to talk and communicate how we are feeling. Otherwise, we will damage our mental health. So go on Patton.  
Daddy: He is so broken... So frail... I do know that is his anxiety talking but... To believe he doesn't deserve our love? Doesn't need to be love, can be friendship! Hell, we know each other since childhood! That we would be better without him? I... I'm angry! I want to talk with that family and make them realized that Vee isn't their slave to stay there for so long!  
Daddy: Also to point that they should at least try to ask for someone else to stay there with Vee! They should know that passing 24+ is harmful, and it is a toll on a single caregiver! Even if the child isn't that bad in behavior.  
Daddy: He was so good before this happened before this family happened. I do understand that they needed a caregiver, but... Couldn't they at least think about Vee?!  
Logic: Well, it's a guess, based on how he acts, but I think he said he would be fine? So if he did, they wouldn't need to think about Virgil.  
Logic: Also, Patton, you don't have too much time, he is leaving the shower. So if you want him not to see you crying you better calm down or go out.  
Daddy: Oh shoot. I will go to my apartment.  
Prince: I'm here, I just changed clothes. I will go downstairs.  
Stinky: Well, again I told us to kill that family...  
Snake: I don't need to explain, why it was neglected right?  
Prince: So... What we should do?  
Logic: Well I'm taking his phone from him because we are chatting now instead of in a moment where he is stable.  
Daddy: But I told him I would do that... I just don't know if he will remember... And I kinda needed to...  
Stinky: Hm... Reading all that we talked about... Isn't bad. If his anxiety isn't on the roof, he will understand. But although the moment isn't good, it is important to talk about this right now.  
Stinky: So tomorrow he can read and realize that we care and worry about him because we love him. And how he affects all of us.  
Prince: Also, it's not like we didn't this before.  
Snake: Agreed. But yeah Logan, stay with his phone. I bet his anxiety is on the roof right now and won't understand this.  
Prince: I'm going to Patton's, try to calm him down because he stopped typing.  
Logic: Thank you.  
Prince: No problem, when he is better I will be at your place.  
Snake: I'm home, but I will go to change. Brb.  
Stinky: I feel forsaken.  
Logic: Hey, didn't you told him that you will bring him on a date Saturday?  
Stinky: Yeah?  
Logic: Well, that is something positive for him to wait. That wasn't started before his panic. So he won't feel bad or pity.  
Stinky: Oh...  
Stinky: Ooooooh...  
Stinky: Well, now I need to plan it better, thanks specs! The break is over, I need to go back to work.  
Stinky: Hey Logan.  
Logic: Yes?  
Stinky: Make sure that he feels protected. Maybe do a sleepover, like put two mattresses and make everyone sleep around him?  
Logic: Will do and that is a nice idea! Oh also, tomorrow we will have famILY breakfast so come here after you work okay?  
Stinky: Sure.

Logan was looking to Virgil who was just done putting on his onesies. It would be normal if the purple hair wasn't looking so tired and so sad. "That is my phone?" Confusion to see his phone on the medic's hand as he moved to the living room. "Where is Pat?"

The raven followed the other male as he looks to the mug and gives him one, before picking one for himself. Sitting side by side of the other. "It's your phone and Patton is in his home with Roman."

"Okay...? You know it's weird right...?"

"Well, Patton talked about you on the Discord channel like he told you. One thing to another, and you already know where it went."

"Oh right... That I'm a freak whore who needs atten---"

"Virgil. You do need attention, and you do need love. Two things that we are all happy to provide okay? Come here." He opened his arms for the caregiver could cuddle with him albeit hesitant the other still did. "Now, we all have days where we need attention and love, you aren't the only one and I do know you would do the same for us. Also, we do have different ways of showing those needs so, yours is just different than mine that is different from Patton and so goes on, you aren't a freak, you are our lover. And we love you. And if multi-relationship is considered a whore, as you put, then we all are a bunch of whores. Since I do love you and Patton. Patton loves everyone like you, Remus loves you, Janus, and me for some weird reason although, I only like him, not love. Janus loves you, Remus, and Roman. And as Patton said, you're the one who holds us all together and makes us better."

He was quiet as Logan finish to speak, he was still feeling bad about everything and himself, although it was no use to argue about it, somewhere inside him, knew that it was just his anxiety and depression worsened today. "Can I just..." He took a deep breath. "Can we just do a big bed here, and sleep everyone together?"

"Weird enough? Remus gave the same idea, but I do think it's a marvelous idea, one that I think Patton and Roman will love very much as well." Logan smiled at the suggestion if that was what he needed why not? Even if he didn't bring it up he would suggest as Remus suggested, since both he and Patton needed it. Also, it wasn't different from the movie's nights. They stayed quietly like that, drinking on their hot chocolate.

Soon Roman and Patton were back, Patton seemed calmer, although it was clear that he was crying. With the idea, they went out to pick up another mattress, since two king-size ones would be enough for the five of them to be comfortable. Virgil and Logan picked up in Logan's room, soon Janus was there as well, helping to organized the place.

Patton then went to do more hot chocolate for Roman and Janus, and later they all were in front of the TV in the living room, watching The Nightmare Before Christmas, they all cuddled up with each other. Virgil was put in the middle with Patton and Roman at his side, Janus and Logan were in the edges, but at least one of their hands holding Virgil's hand, that was passing under Patton and Roman's necks.

Virgil was still feeling bad, and his thoughts didn't shut up, but... At least he wasn't alone, having a lot of love around him to remember him how much they care about him. So he felt tired and fall asleep between the hugs and cuddles of his boyfriends. Sure tomorrow would be hell, and he probably would be scolded, but right now? He was fine. He could feel the love his boyfriend has for him, and that was all that matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small explanation: In this chapter, I did project myself on Virgil. The talk I had with my husband wasn't full like that, it went more different because my problems were different from Virgil of course, but in general, the thoughts I had were there. The reason for Virgil to calm down so "suddenly" isn't because of: "Oh you wished to light up so quickly.". No. It was more because that happened. With my husband talking and reasoning, I was able to calm down really quickly. It took a lot of crying sure, it took a lot of trying breathing exercises. But it did work out.
> 
> I'm not, in any case, making fun or light of a panic attack or saying it's easy to fix like that. Okay? Thank you very much for understanding.
> 
> Thanks for reading =3 ~!
> 
> Also please, tell me if I need to tag anything more.


	5. Let's jump the talk part and just explain it, cause I'm too awkward to talk.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh Emo, morning, but you’re awake…? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” The personal bodyguard asked, he probably passed on his home to change clothes because he was using pajamas, Virgil noticed as he tries to let go of Roman and then sit on the makeshift bed. “Logan’s alarm clock.” Was all the answer as he looks to his phone, just to find the object near Logan, the said person was sitting and stretching himself. “So… This is weird.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are finally making things clear! A lot of help and finally a decent explanation, that probably could be sooner if they talked before. But they are just dorks.
> 
> TW: Just mentions: Sociopath/Psychopath disturb and Surgery.
> 
> More to be mention in the endnote.

Virgil looked around, confused as to what was happening right now, he could hear Logan’s alarm clock, he does remember coming to the medic’s home after he came back from his work but after that? It was still foggy, he could see Patton at his right cuddling with the apartment owner, at his left where himself was cuddling was Roman and then Janus. _”Okay… That is not weird…”_ He thought as he hears the door opening and seeing Remus getting in. “Morning…” The purple hair murmurs to him.

“Oh Emo, morning, but you’re awake…? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” The personal bodyguard asked, he probably passed on his home to change clothes because he was using pajamas, Virgil noticed as he tries to let go of Roman and then sit on the makeshift bed. “Logan’s alarm clock.” Was all the answer as he looks to his phone, just to find the object near Logan, the said person was sitting and stretching himself. “So… This is weird.”

“Welcome back Remus, also good morning Virgil. I do know that this situation is odd, but do you want to wake them up? Or do you want me to fill you in before?” The raven said as he tried to get out of Patton.

“Urgh… Fill me in.” The caregiver does remember a couple of things that happened but just in case, he thought it would be better to get the other’s point of view first.

“That will be ideal, how about we move to my room?” After all, the other three were heavy sleepers but could wake up if they keep talking, so Logan’s suggestions did makes sense.

“Okay, I will move from here and then you two can move Patton to my spot okay?” Virgil suggested as he got nods from both, soon they were able to move as it was told, and Patton was hugging Roman. As the three awake men went to Logan’s office since there were chairs.

“Before anything, come here Emo.” Remus said pointing to his lap, something that Virgil did accept, as he always felt safer with the other. Not that he doesn’t feel with the other’s boyfriends, but Remus was strangely more safe in Virgil’s mind.

“So I will tell you what happened and you tell me after how much you remember okay?” Logan waited for an answer and got a nod from the male. “Okay, you returned from your work, slightly anxious and as soon you got here you started crying. I tried to leave to call Patton but you didn’t let me, so I stayed and held you up, while texted to Patton. He was hereafter some minutes. Then after more crying, we were able to calm you down.”

He took a deep breath before continuing. “So we were able to make you tell us what was passing in your mind…” He trailed off as he looks to the second-youngest, and see the realization passing on his mind. “You were self-deprecating a lot, literally. A few minutes we tried to ground you down to remember all the good things and then you finally…”

“Were able to calm down enough to go shower and recompose me.” Virgil cut the other but didn’t continue.

“Yes, you suggested doing a sleepover, yeah he did suggest that as well Remus, I got surprised by that, soon Roman and Janus returned from their things. Because Patton did chat about it in the family chat. So… That is why I took your phone, yesterday. Now that is all explained here it’s back.” Logan moved to give the taller the object. “If you want, to fill in more about what we thought, you can read it. Well, I do encourage you to read even if you’re scared. So your anxiety won’t have a way to distort.”

The caregiver wasn’t sure at all what he should do, falling silently as he looks his phone and then feeling Remus tightening the arms around his waist. “As you think about it I will wake up the others.” Logan said as he left the room to do that and probably to fix the breakfast with Patton.

He was met with silence as he looks to Remus, waiting for the other to say something. “Well I wasn’t here last night so what I do know about yesterday is what they talked on chat and now I’m clingy, urgh… I’m acting like Roman.” He said in a disgusted sound, although with no malice behind it.

“You’re twins, so for me it makes sense.” He answered as he looked at his phone. “It was bad, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, it was but! Before you start to think that weird train of thoughts that I do know very well. I agree with Logan, you should read the chat and then we can go talk with them. Because I bet they won’t let it down, and for more, I don’t like the idea of calling you out I do agree that we need to talk.” Remus is sincere as he speaks, although it does hurt a lot he appreciates the lack of sympathy.

“Fine.” He took a deep breath as he unlocks his phone and opened the chat, starting to read it. As he read Patton describing what he told last night his body tensed up, Remus’s hand was making soothing circles at his back and caressing his tights to try to relax him, and was working. “I thought that… I should suicide?! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! That… That is not true! That is no wonder why you all are so...” He does remember talking about that, as well what Patton and Logan said, he was kinda proud for remembering the important part but that was not the case.

“Vee, calm down.” The brunet said while looking at Virgil’s eyes. “I know okay? Now relax, and if you feel like you can, keep reading.” He placed his hands around the smaller waist tightening. He was a bit worried that the point Virgil didn’t agree was the suicide thing, not about being worthless, but he wouldn’t bring that right now.

“Okay… Okay…” He followed Remus’s steady breath as he calms down enough to return to read. Roman got home early because he was scared, Remus got panicked… That was bad… Janus and Patton were trying to intermediate the situation as Virgil looks to Remus again. “You aren’t calling a sick day right?”

“Unless you want me to. No, I won’t. I truly want to, but as Janus points out every time, a change of schedule makes you feel anxious and bad, blaming yourself and all that guilty thing. Also, I don’t think I need to say, but I will do it anyway. Me panicking? Was just because I was worried and blaming my stupid job for not being able to stay with you. Or to protect you better. Yeah I know, I shouldn’t need to do this, but I feel like... As the only one who is related to the safety job, as I’m a personal bodyguard to keep you all safe. Because it would break me if you all got hurt or something, I know it's different physical and mental protection but both in my mind are mixed up and I feel like I should do it. So... no blame okay? It was my anxiety freaking out. It’s like when I had to do the cardio surgery and Logan blamed himself when complications happened. Because he thinks that as the doctor of this house he should know how to help every medicine thing, heck he even thought of changing his residence because of that.”

“Yeah… I do appreciate the effort… But let’s not remember that day okay?”

“Right, but I didn’t have a better example.”

“I know. But one thing for sure? It did help." He felt less bad for making Remus panic, and having the said person telling him was good and soothing. As he returns to read the chat, but didn’t go that far. “Wait someone invaded the house you were…?”

“Keep reading and you will find your answer.”

“Also Roman and Janus were back early…? That ---” He was cut off.

“I can call both of them to say to you that it was NOT a problem. Do you want it?”

“... No…"

"Janus was texting me 20 minutes before Patton sent the message, saying how bored to hell he was, honestly? I bet he just is glad that he found an excuse to come back. And Roman? He was going to take 30 minutes, so he was walking back home already, or at least picking his things to return. You know how he likes to walk home instead of calling a uber. So was not a problem."

"I will keep reading and talk about it later with them if it still bothers me.” He didn’t want to Remus leave and neither did want to see anyone right now, but at least hearing the brunet information did calm him down. As he returns his eyes to the chat. “You all chatted a lot.” Was all he could murmur.

“We love you a lot.” Was a simple answer as he let the other keep reading in silence, moving a bit to caress Virgil’s head. As he reads the suggestion about asking about the company for the family, he did pause his reading to think about it, that is why they are doing a family breakfast. Not only to talk about what happened but as well to convince him that. He did lose in thoughts.

“Virgil?”

“Oh… Shoot right.” He was brought back, as he looks to Remus that has a looking of: _Spit it out_. “I just… Don’t want to bother you guys… That family schedule is a mess and you all have work… Plus taking care of ourselves… That is way too much…”

“I will cut you here, while I’m the worst to comfort or reason with you in this matter, hence the reason Logan would talk about it in a family breakfast. I need you to remember that, your mental and physical health are important to us too. Remember? Whenever I’m slipping into that sadistic and crazy headspace, it means that my mental health is bad. You all make sure to have someone home and if I need I will be asked to have one of you guys follow to my work or to stay home. What we want to do right now with you is the same thing. It isn’t too much. IF some lack of sleep for a few days, some trouble as you say, will make you feel better and be right, then we will be more than happy to do it. As I know you will do the same if we need it.”

Remus was probably way too tired because he was reasoning it in his way, and pointing in a way that Virgil couldn’t deny and have doubts about it, he smiled a bit. “You’re sounding like Logan, did you passed too much time with him again?”

“Maybe ~? He is so good at bed tho.” He smirked, teasing, before dropping it. “Just, tired okay? Also while I say all this, I’m the last one who will be able to be with you. So, you can ask them to say this to you with their words.”

“Don’t need for now… Thanks, Remus.”

“Don’t worry. Now, better to finish it up soon, before they get here.” Remus chuckled at that, not it would be a bad thing, but if Virgil wanted to read it alone/only with him, then he should do it soon.

“Righ.” After he is done reading he turns the screen off again as he looks at the object pulling the hood over his head. “I did say that I would be fine… Logan wasn’t wrong… I just didn’t think… Well while I was working I was fine. I didn’t break down or something… I just didn’t realize that when I got home I would break down… Didn’t realize the toll till now. Patton’s daddy mod got activated huh?” He chuckled at that, Patton was the youngest but he was also the one who acted more like a daddy to them.

“Yeah. It did. I don’t have a way to reason this Vee. Should we go there?”

“Hm…” He rested his head over the brunet’s shoulder, closing his eyes. He was thinking a lot of things, he does remember his talk with Logan and Patton, he also did understand their points. Taking a deep breath as he looks to Remus again, getting up from his lap. “Can you go there and tell them that I’m more than willing to hear about their worries and reason about it, but… They don’t need to convince me to talk with that family.”

“The first one I can do but… Why not?” Remus looked at him suspiciously as he sees Virgil smiling

“I’m going to call them. They are probably awake right now.” As he picks up the phone and starts to call the phone, a few more seconds as he returns to speak. “Hey, it’s Virgil? Yeah, your caregiver I wanted to talk about something. No, I can wait a bit.” He turned to Remus, showing his phone and then returning to the call. “Morning, sorry to interrupt.” The brunet didn’t move from there, to listen to the other in the call. “I wanted to know if from now on, I can bring someone with me to work?” A small silence as Virgil looked to Remus curious.

“Nah, your son is an angel, he doesn’t give me any trouble, it’s just because it’s taking a toll on my mental health. I already told you this but I have anxiety, while I don’t have a problem during work I do have later, that is why I thought that bringing someone would help. Mhm… Yeah. They would be there more likely… To make sure I’m alright. Mmhm… Okay, thanks.” He smiled, it wasn’t that hard and he shouldn’t have freaked out, since he already knew the parents. “Yeah mmhm… No biggies. Have a nice day and see you.” He ended the call before returning to his boyfriend.

“You know it’s rude to hear a call.” He said kinda annoyed.

“Well, I needed to make sure that you did say everything, you know Logan and Janus, they need a witness or something like that.” He shrugs as he gets up holding Virgil’s hand. “So, now breakfast!” Remus says in a happy tone pulling the smaller.

He felt… Loved. He does know that it won’t stop him from freaking out or having a panic, or thinking that he is bothering but right now? He felt fine, as he followed the mustache twin. As soon he was back at the dining room he could see the others' concern on their face, which did stop him a bit, right… That part of the talk. “Morning.” He was met with them saying morning in return in their ways.”Before you all talk, I just talked to that family and asked if I could bring one of you guys with me and they said yes. Ah, I read the chat from yesterday and it was there.”

“Oh… That… Is true. I forgot about it.” Logan said as he looked to Remus and got a nod. “And I helped him from my part and in my way.” The sadistic twin said while going to sit next to Janus and Virgil sit between Remus and Roman.

“Okay, that is less one thing from what we wanted to talk with you.” Janus said, happy that they wouldn’t need to convince him.

“He is right. Virgil? While I presume yesterday all the self-deprecating and suicide was just your anxiety so we won't hold it against you... What do we need to do to convince your mind that you deserve the love we give you? And that you aren’t a bother to any of us?” Roman said carefully as he looks at him.

Virgil thought for a long time, as he turned his eyes for them. “Nothing? Don’t get me wrong, you all are doing an amazing job, now I don’t feel as bad as I was when we first started living all together like this. I can go to one of you to help me and don’t feel bad about it, well not as bad as before at least. But, changing a mind isn’t that easy. I can’t just erase it and say: Okay they love you and you deserve it. That is not how it works.” He paused while looking at each of them.

“Just keep what you all are doing, remembering me that I don’t bother, that you all love me, ground me down with facts. Well if that is what you all truly believe of course.” He receives rolls of eyes and concern looks. “Look, be sincere is the best thing that you all can do, you all don’t know how much I appreciate the efforts. It probably doesn’t sound like that when I’m panicking but, hear me when I’m calmer like right now. I do appreciate it, I do understand, as you said when my anxiety isn’t on the roof I’m more than capable to understand that you all love me and that you’re worried because of this. And not because of pity or something that you’re bonded and want to fix.” He let his eyes fall in each of them as they hear him in silence letting him say whatever he wants.

“But when my anxiety is on the roofs… Just be mindful, and keep doing what you guys do… Liking or not, I can’t control it. I can’t take meds because I’m allergic to them, talk about it… Egh. Sometimes it does work, sometimes it doesn’t work, I’m not a specialist in anxiety but I do know you guys are doing an amazing job at helping me. Yeah… When I’m anxious I get really depressed, I do talk bad about myself, I can totally dump your moods and worry you guys. But I do ask for you all to remember the days where it wasn't bad. Holding ourselves in the bad days won’t help any of us. Now I appreciate it if you guys stop looking so concerned and worried. I’m fine right now. I’m not lying. I’m not trying to run away and I’m trying to talk about it like an adult should. And right now? You all look like worried fathers and it’s kinda making me angry. Because I’m feeling more like a kid and I hate it.” He chuckled as he looked at them.

Followed by Remus and Janus who eased up, since they are the men who passed more time with Virgil in the past, and understand him far better than the others. Logan, Patton, and Roman looked to each other before easing up.

“Roman?” Virgil poked the brunet at his left, making the writer jump a bit.

“Yeah?”

“You said you’re free today right?”

“Yes.”

“I want to go somewhere, can you drive us there?”

“... Riiiight?” He was totally uncertain as he looked at him.

“I know Remus isn’t, so… Who else is?” Virgil looked for the mustache twin who was looking sad and poked him as well, where he also jumped a bit. “We do have a date Saturday, so stop with the pout.”

“Logan will work, but I and Janus are free.” Patton summed up as he looked curious to Virgil.

“Well, then I will go there with Logan and Remus later.” He smiled as he let the other’s confused. “Now, I’m really tired trying to conduct this talk and all the attention, but I will repeat this, again, since it’s been 10 years since the last time… Pay attention to this and remember this okay?” He waited till all the eyes were back to him and they nodded. “When I’m in a panic attack, please disregard anything that I say that is self-deprecating or self-harm. I’m more open to you guys now, so I will come to one of you whenever I’m panicking. So remember that: No matter what I say, I won’t do anything against me. And even if I fall into more depression than anxiety, and do consider hurting myself, and even I do, I will always call one of you. Like I did in the past.”

The dining room was silent, Virgil’s words were clear and for more that they didn’t like it, they accepted that they couldn’t do anything more than they already are.

“I’m open to talking more about what happened today with each of you to try to ease your concerns about this but, Roman, Patton, and Janus need to work, Logan and Remus need to sleep. So we can do it later okay? Now time to eat.” Virgil smiled as he moved to pick things to eat, normally he would feel terrible right now, he would feel anxious as soon as he got in the room, but he didn’t feel like it.

He wasn’t sure if it was because everyone was there, or because he felt rested for once this week, but he didn’t find reasons to freak out, he wanted to talk about it with them for a few months now, never having the courage enough to do this. So right now? He was feeling glad, glad that he was finally able to talk and explain it to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know what happened with this chapter, I kinda feel like it's rushed but at the same time, I think it's at a good pace? Don't know. Comments are welcome on this.
> 
> It is mentioned as a sadistic and crazy mindset, but Remus does have a disturb of Sociopathic and Psychopathic although he takes meds and has a strong support system to stop him, I'm no expert in this and this info is just for the sake of the fanfic, it's better to be safe than sorry. So keep this in mind, while he does have those disturbs, he won't do anything because of the reason I gave before. He is the type of guy who: "You just don't wanna mess with who he cares deeply, his family and love ones."


	6. That Night... You just appreciate it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More talk, and a biiiiit of angst ~! Although is the good type? If that ever exists.
> 
> Also, this chapter contains a music reference, the music is River Flows in You from Yiruma, I really recommend you to hear it when it mentions ~.
> 
> Now ~! Enjoy.

The rest of the breakfast went normally, Remus would easy up the talk, by telling how drunk the person last night was, followed by how boring Janus party was, it was funny to see that the philosopher was really glad that he was rescued to come back home. Then Roman was telling how his class went and how he got more ideas to write while watching.

Patton and Logan didn't have too much to talk, once the medic was taking some days off to rest from an exhausting week and the vet was just, normal as always. Virgil looked to Janus with a curious look. "Yes?" Where he thought it was a silent question if he could ask something.

"Just wondering... If it was that boring, why didn't you come back? You know... I do know I like schedules and I get anxious if it's not followed and all. But... Staying somewhere you don't like, just because of that reason is... Worse for me." They all fell in silence as they waited for the eldest to answer.

"Hm... I stayed not because of the schedule, yeah it was like 40% of the reason. But the other 60% I blame the twins." Janus rolled his eyes as he looks at Roman and Remus. "Roman said that a party should be fun and I should go there and enjoy it. Bond more with the other's professors and something like that. While Remus? He bet with me I was going to come back in one hour of the party. I just didn't want o lose. Also Remus? You lose you owe me."

"Oh SHIT! I forgot about that!" Remus was taken aback by that. "Fiiiiiine...." He was pouting now as he turned his eyes to Virgil's side, avoiding the other.

"Language kiddo." Patton probably shouldn't feel so bad about it, but oh well, he still wanted then to be polite.

"Oh... That makes sense..." Virgil trailed off as he looks at them, Janus was definitely happy for whatever that they bet, Remus was really annoyed and Roman was biting his lower lip as he was feeling guilty. The philosopher must have noticed because he talked again. "Roman, don't blame yourself too much. Your brother is worse, from 60%, yours are like 10%, the others 50% was all Remus fault."

That was enough to calm down the writer as he easy up, Virgil for once was now curious about another thing. "So... What was the bet?" As he looks at Remus, he could see the bodyguard been all red and avoiding any eye contact, while Janus was smirking and trying to hold himself. "Hm... You will find out eventually." Was all the answer Janus gave the purple hair. "Or at least I will tell you later."

That was more suspicious than ever, but he bet that was because Logan and Patton were there. "O-Okay...?" He couldn't help but sound confused and suspicious, but soon the talk was changing again.

"Time to work, I will be back at 7 pm so we can go to whatever place you wanted Virge." Roman was the first to say as he gets up.

Patton and Janus enjoyed this time to leave as well, as they would be all going to work. Virgil helped Logan to clean up the dishes and Remus to organize the kitchen, after that the three looked at the living room. "Hm... I'm not tired to sleep yet, how about we watch a movie?" Remus said as he normally wouldn't sleep after eating.

"I'm up to it." Virgil said as he sat down on the mattress, later he could help Remus to move that back to the room. As Logan choose a musical that would satisfy the three to watch, after the end, the three just slept together, Logan was at Virgil's right side, while Remus was on his left.

At 6 pm the three woke up, Remus and Virgil moved the mattress back to the place, and then he could see Logan going to change to work, as well Remus. The caregiver thought for a bit, Janus was already back so he went to the teacher's home.

"Hey Vee, want to tell me where we are going?" The eldest let the second-younger get in as he moves to set some tea for both of them.

"Nah, don't. But hey it's nice to be the one surprising and not be surprised." He mentioned as he looked around smiling.

"Yeah... I guess so, you don't want to be alone?"

"Yes, not after yesterday... I thought in wait for you be ready and then you could make company for me while I get ready?"

"No problems, do you want to hear what I taught today? While I do things."

"Yes."

He picked up his tea, walking behind the teacher, it was easy to hear Janus talking about his day, he didn't mind it. The time passed quickly, they went from the second floor to the third so the caregiver could get ready, a few more minutes as he was now looking at his door where Patton was done changing as well, which let only one person not done. "Want to bet how many minutes till Prince show up?" Virgil laughed as he gave the idea.

"Hm... 1 cookie that it will be in 5." Patton was the first one to say it.

"Cookies huh? So 1 cookie that it will be in 10." Janus was the next one as he goes by what normally Princes takes with him.

"15." Virgil set a timer while looking at both of them. "If not more."

Patton and Janus looked at each other confused at why Roman would take that much. "Well, he never takes that much with me..." The philosopher looked a bit curious now.

"Neither with me. Does he takes that much with you kiddo?" The vet was also curious as he speaks.

"You will see." Was all that the caregiver could answer as he eats one of Patton's cookies.

20 minutes later, Roman appeared in Virgil's apartment, looking really royally. He was wearing black pants, with an elegant red shirt, over it is a black overcoat that had some gold shining depending on the light, going till his knee. His hair was impeccable and he had small make-up just to conceal any imperfection on his face.

"Told you." Virgil laughed as he looks at Patton and Janus who was not just confused but as well impressed.

"What?" Roman said not understanding.

"Nothing." The caregiver was still laughing when he got up, picking up his keys and wallet. "Let's go. Roman do you know that forest near your work?"

"Yes...?"

"Let's go there." With a few minutes, they were all in the car, Patton and Janus were still impressed, but they were now talking about music's tastes. "At least lower the volume a bit Roman!" Janus was more bothered by the high volume of the Disney song that was playing.

Mostly because Roman was singing as well, Virgil for once was the one who lowered as it was hurting his ears as well. Watching the driver pouting. "We aren't deaf, don't look at me like this." It won't take that much for them to get where they wanted and Virgil started walking between the trees.

"So... Where are we going?" Janus asked curiously as they follow the purple hair.

"It's a place previously owned by the School, but now it's free for everyone. But since no one took care, now it's abandoned." He sums up. "I found this place a few months ago, well Remy showed me this place but he said it was fine for me to come here." 

They stayed silent as they wouldn't get any answer from Virgil right now, but after what sounded like 30 minutes of walking, they got an answer when the caregiver stopped walking around what seemed to be an improvised open theater to practice. There is held a grand piano that was worn out, it was breathtaking mostly because the only light was the blue full moon. "I wanted to come here with everyone but oh well... Hey do me a favor? Come here and stay here, looking at the sky."

He moved the trio to where he wanted, it was closer to where the piano was, without the pollution it was a beautiful sky, they were speechless and soon the music started to play, soothing and calming, but as well with a lot of feelings. Letting the three more confused as they dared to turn and see what the other meant. After that, they returned to take in all around.

The bright moon bathing the improvised open theater, where Virgil was playing the piano, the sound who was carried with so many feelings and the stars up him. It wasn't just peaceful but as well so... Beautiful. Tears started to fall from Roman and Patton's eyes, while Janus closed his eyes to absorb everything and never forget about it.

After 3 minutes, the song ended and Virgil was embarrassed as he didn't dare to look at them, for his luck, Roman and Patton moved to hug him tight still crying silently. Janus for once just got near them and was the only one who could speak right now. "This... Is breathtaking Virgil. I can say for sure that we all loved it. Thanks."

Nods as the purple hair smiled, caressing both heads over them. "Your welcome. I was really scared that I would mess up. I didn't think it would make them cry though..." He let out a small chuckle.

"Well... I'm speechless... I just..." The teacher tried to say, but it was getting hard to keep the emotions flow.

"Shhhh... Come here." As if that was all the permission he needed, he went there to hug Virgil as well, letting them let go of whatever they were feeling. "I love you guys... It's just a hard moment and things will be better." He shouldn't be the one to comfort them, but after scaring them last night probably was wise to do so. With his words, he could hear that the three started to crying harder. "I'm fine. Because I know I have you guys."

Soothing words as he looks at the sky again, it was definitely a nice night for that. He just wished that he could do the same with Remus and Logan later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter brings me so many emotions. I'm not sure if it's because of the song or because of the comfort there, just... It's cute.


	7. Weird but yet a nice shift?

It was weird, he couldn't deny it, but at least he hoped it would help him taking care of himself while working and not fall into that weird and panic mess. It was Friday morning, Logan was back from his work and decided he would stay with Virgil while the second-youngest worked.

Everything was smooth, the morning routine as easy as normal, the medic had slept a bit till lunch, that is when he woke up not just to eat but to make the caregiver eat. Weird enough, with the second-eldest there, he felt a bit more at ease, Logan was helping the kid with homework, while Virgil was eating something. He waited till the children went to do homework for him to eat.

"Vee! Vee! I'm done with my homework ~!" The kid was happy as he looks at his caregiver, showing the notes. "Logan helped! I didn't know you knew a medic! He is so smart ~!" Virgil couldn't help other than smile, he knew he wasn't the smartest on his boyfriend, sure he wasn't the dumbest as well. He was just... Average.

"Nice work kid. Since you did it so well, how about I give you some candy and you can play on your console?" Watching the kid jump in happiness as he darts out for the living room to play a game. "Thanks for the help, Lo. I'm done eating, I will clean this up. Can you look at him till I go there?"

"How about I do the cleanup, and you go there? I really prefer cleaning than looking for a kid gaming." 

"Hm... Okay. " With that, Virgil picked up some candy and then went to the kid, who was soon gaming. Dinner went as smoothly as lunch, the medic did the same thing, watched the kid while Virgil was eating since again, the second-youngest waited till the smaller was done to eat. It was Janus who was there with him later as Logan went back to his home so he could get a proper rest from his work.

"Don't look at me like that." The philosopher said as he looked at the clock. "You need to rest Virgil." It was already midnight and the eldest was trying to make the second-youngest go to sleep.

"But... If the Kid wake up?!" He didn't yell but his tone was high pitch in worry, the kid was upstairs already tucked in on the bed, while Virgil was now lying on the couch with his head over Janus's lap. Way too worked up to just sleep.

"IF he wakes up, I will make sure to wake you up and let you help him. I promise. Come on Vee, I'm here and I'm not going to sleep. You know me when I promise you, I will keep it." Only two people could make Virgil sleep when he is like that, Janus and Patton. Mostly, because he knew that when they promise something, they would keep it.

"Urgh... Fine... But as soon I wake up tomorrow morning, I want you to go home!"

"Okay. It's not like Patton already knows this and will be here tomorrow at 8 am." Janus answered in sarcasm, but he was honestly caressing Virgil's head. The lights around the living room were dim and the teacher was going to mess with his phone for the night, so he already had a charger nearby. "Just rest okay?"

Green eyes were rolled as he hears it but with the caress on his head and as well the soothing sound of the eldest breathing, soon he found himself sleeping. As normal, the kid wouldn't wake up during the night, he never did anyway, but with Virgil's anxiety, he couldn't bring himself to sleep when he was there. Although right now, as he was with Janus, he could ease up.

The next morning, Virgil was surprised, he not only had a full night's sleep but as well Janus was still awake smiling at him. "Morning storm. Patton sent a message that he will be here in 5. Also, Remus was really jealous of your sleeping face. Roman as well." It was a small teasing that he should have expected from his boyfriend.

"You're a dork. I will wash my face. Did you all talked on the chat or in private?" He sat down, before getting up and stretching his limbs as he cracks his neck and hands.

"Chat, from what Pat told me, Logan is still sleeping. I will send you a text when I get home, you can ask Roman if I'm sleeping or not.

"Thanks... I don't think..." He trailed off bitting his lower lip, he was still having that nagging feeling of bothering everyone, although he wasn't sure if he wanted to voice that or not.

Janus picked up on that, as he got up, pocketing his phone and gently holding Virgil's chin to make him look at him in his eyes. "You're not a bother dear. I do like to take care of you. As I mentioned, your sleeping face was really a nice reward. Also, you sometimes talk when sleeping? It was really cute. Although I'm curious to understand what you were dreaming to say owl from nowhere?"

He could feel his face getting warmer as he moves away from the loose grip of Janus. "I-I... Okay, I will shut that thought just... Ah... I will wash my face now." He wasn't panicking he was just embarrassed as hell, as he moves to the guest bathroom to wash it. Soon he was going upstairs to wake up the kid, he could see the giggles that Janus was giving towards him whenever they were nearby.

As the philosopher said, Patton was there in five minutes, he brought somethings to do breakfast, and who was Virgil to deny it? Janus went back home and after a few minutes, he checked on his phone to see Roman saying that the Snake was sleeping. He felt relief as he relaxes, it was enjoyable not staying alone with the kid.

"Oh... So! You are a vet! Vee, you know so many smart people!" The child was liking them and it was good if he would need to take care of him for who knows how long.

"Yeap, Vee does know a lot of smart people. But you're as smart as us!" Patton reassured the kid as he messes the child's hair. "Now, go finish your food kiddo."

He wasn't sure what was that feeling, maybe relief? Happiness? For once he wasn't sure what the feeling was, but he didn't think too much about it. They soon ended up the food and Patton, like Logan, cleaned the kitchen. For once in that week he felt not overwhelmed, he wasn't stressed, he was fine, and more important the kid was also fine.

Nearly 11 am, the parents were back, happy to see the kid fine, for once in that week they did a question he didn't know how to answer. "How are you, Virgil? We are truly sorry, we didn't ask you or suggested for you to bring someone else when you said that you were fine in doing long shifts... When you said you had anxiety, you sounded like it was light or normal for everyone... You never told us it affected you that much."

"Virgil!" Patton was surprised, as he looks at them and at the caregiver. He didn't say anything else as he looked at the oldest.

"First, I'm fine... Having them around did help a lot... Second... Yeah... I should have said... Although to be fair, I never tried doing 24 more hours shifts more than once a week... I can normally stay awake for long but... Never tried working... Last... Patton please, calm down." He was embarrassed, that was his mistake, but to be fair, it wasn't only his fault, they were as well.

"Well, okay. It seems everything is well and all, time for me to leave and let you with your kid. You will text me the next time I need to come?" Virgil didn't give any time to think or keep that talk, as he honestly only wanted to go home, rest with Remus a bit before they could go out.

"Sure." With that, he was already picking his bag and things, to go out. After a few minutes of awkward silence between him and Patton, he was finally able to bring something out. "Pat, can you please give me the daddy speech before we are back?" The youngest seemed surprised as he stopped walking.

"Vee, oh Vee... Just... Let's take care of you more? I know you don't like to make big deals of things, but that was a big deal, and you just... shushed as it was nothing. Self-care is important Love." Patton was looking at him in his emerald's eyes.

He was expecting to hear one of the _don't talk bad about yourself_ speech, but he never thought that was going to be a permission. So his voice was less steady and more embarrassed. "I... Just... Don't know how to ask it, without feeling... Selfish? Or a needy bitch, just don't know how to express in another way, Pat. I feel bad for... Doing self-care. While I'm working on this with you guys, is still a work in progress..."

"I know Virge, and you're doing an amazing job! I'm very proud of how much you progressed, in those years we were together. So how about it. Instead of you asking, we can ask it. I can talk with them, and if they feel like it, they will come to you and ask, if they can take care of you on their own time, although I believe they all will the happy in doing. Logan will be thrilled with the idea of keeping a tabled schedule on the chat. Virge, before you spiral into your panic and worries. We are not forcing ourselves to do it, we are more than happy to change small things to be on better terms for you. You just need to vocalize what you need and we will do it. After all, we do know you would do the same for us. I'm right?" Patton saw a nod coming from the other and then smiled as he moved to hug the smaller. "Virgil, we love you. I wished the others were here to tell you this for themself. But, please believe in me for now?"

He didn't have words, even if he had, he couldn't trust his voice right now, Virgil was feeling so good right now, he was amazed at how good and marvelous his boyfriends were. He felt loved and cared and it was enough to shut up any of the thoughts he had previously about been a bother to them. He didn't notice when he started to cry, but he definitely noticed when Patton started to guide him to sit down on a bench. Reassuring words as he let go of those feelings, his dumb brain finally accepting that, they weren't doing it by obligation, but because of love. It lifted a weight he didn't know that he was carrying.

20 minutes later, he could feel the sobs fading and the tears stopping falling, cleaning his face with his jacket's sleeve. "I'm just... Not sure if this is you panicking because I said something wrong or...If it's good?" Patton was confused but he didn't move from where he was. Still caressing Virgil's hair, and doing soothing circles on his back.

"Believe me... It was good." Virgil's voice was a bit cracked from all the crying and sobbing but it did have small happiness behind it.

"Well glad to hear this kiddo. Yeah, I know you're older, just let's return okay? Roman is jealous and is storming at home."

"Jealous? From what this time?" He returned to walk towards their apartments as he looks at Patton giggling.

"To be fair, Remus and Roman are jealous. I don't think you read the messages that happened this night?"

"No...? Didn't have time."

"Okay, I will sum up, we talked about who was coming here with you, between us when you said you were going right? Remember that Logan said he would be the first one? It would be nicer to not have someone too emotional on the first day and well he is a doctor if something happened, he was the perfect one. He would stay till dinner, that is when one of us would change. Although we all know you can only sleep with me or Janus when you're worked up. I said for Janus to stay the night since he does that more easily than me, and I would be here early so you had a nice breakfast. Which let..." He paused to breathe, but he could see that Virgil already understood his point.

"Remus was working during the night so he obviously wouldn't be here, although he would be the best for the night, also we have a date tonight, he knew I would be worried if he didn't rest properly. And Roman he is more like a day active person if I stayed here all afternoon he would come so he could tire out the kid... But that didn't happen. So he is sulking like a kid, jealous that Logan, Janus, and you, were semed to help me in some way but he wasn't?" He tried as he looked at Patton nodding and laughing.

"Oh my god, this twins! Honestly, they sometimes seem younger than us! I have a date with Remus this night and I promised one to Roman because he was jealous of Remus's date and the teasing I did with Janus. Honestly! Why are they jealous?!" Virgil wasn't annoyed, or angry, just... Confused and even disbelieved.

"Oh kiddo, now I'm jealous. It's been so long that you had a date with any of us. I want a date too ~." Patton pout at that. "But well... They are jealous because they love you and they love to have your company. 

Virgil passed his hand on his face in a drastic facepalm. "Fiiiiine... You're right... Guess I will have to make a date day for Logan and Janus as well before they get jealous. And think of yours after Roman." As he put his hand on the hoodie's pocket, he could see their apartment. "Serious though? I'm blessed that none of you guys feel sex urges in the same way you feel jealous."

The younger face went from pouting to a red color with that comment. "Erm..."

"Nope, don't wanna hear it. If I hear it, I will have to work on it. If I don't hear it, I don't need to and can be ignorant, at least till my mood and schedule are back to normal. So nope not hearing." He refused quickly not letting Patton explain anything.

The vet had to laugh about it as he calmed down, passing his arms around Virgil's and so walking back. "Okay, but when that happens you will need to be ready to face it." It didn't sound any childish or light as normally, it was teasing, and did the second-young shiver.

"Oh my god! You are all going to kill me!" He said getting red as he quickly the pace so they could get there soon. Although embarrassed he was laughing as well, with Patton trying to keep up with the pace, mostly because the vet was laughing more than the caregiver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was... Weird. Like... I was supposed to do Virgil x Remus date, but instead ended up with Patton x Virgil, why? Don't know. But okay xD.
> 
> Oh, also, the post of chapters are going to slow down. Have been internet/pc problems, plus real-life suck. More update on that on tumblr: emiisanxious.
> 
> Also question: What is your suggestion for the kid's name? I'm just tired of calling him "kid" or "child".


	8. A surprising nice date from the Duke!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally Remu's date! 
> 
> Also, this chapter contains a music reference, the music is Change from Lana Del Rey, I really recommend you to hear it when it mentions ~.
> 
> Enjoy ~.

When they got home, Virgil excused himself, all the touches, caring, and all the cuddles were getting a bit too much for him. Although he loved it, he needed some alone time to feel like himself again; no one really worried that much as he wasn't super in physical touches.

So he threw himself on his bed; he already had a shower, drink some water, and now was letting soft music playing in the background. Picking his phone up, now he was scrolling back on the chat from last night.

Snake: Hey, he slept. Now, look how cutie he is.  
Snake sent a picture.  
Stinky: Fuck! Jan is lucky. Stop teasing!  
Snake: Not teasing, if I were, I would be saying: "He is sleeping so cute, but you all can't see it, only me ~!"  
Prince: I love you, but you're a slime boy right now.   
Daddy: Kiddos, play nice.  
Stinky: But Pat! Look at that picture!  
Stinky: It's clear that he is sleeping on Jan's lap and is so... peaceful and cute!  
Prince: I have to agree with Remus.  
Snake: You are all jealous.  
Stinky: Ofc! You were making out that day! Teasing the heck of me when I needed to go work.  
Prince: You have a date with him tomorrow stfu.  
Daddy: I'm going to sleep. Janus, please don't make them kill each other?  
Snake: No promises. But good night.  
Prince: Night daddy.  
Stinky: Night Pat.  
Daddy: Oh my god. Night.  
Snake: Here can anyone explain, why he would say "Owl" while sleeping?  
Stinky: What?  
Prince: ... Oh... He talks when he is sleeping sometimes. Mostly are no sense things. But it's really cute.  
Snake: Owl?  
Prince: Yeah... Another day he was talking about how careless Remus was.  
Stinky: WHAT?!  
Prince: Yeah, sometimes it can be just a word, other times can be full talk. I'm guessing depends on how tired he is.  
Snake: That is cute.   
Sticky: Really... I need to go before I get more jealous.  
Prince: You have a date with him tomorrow night bro, shut up.  
Snake: Just... before that, here another picture.  
Snake sent a picture.  
Prince: ...  
Stinky: ...  
Snake: Now I go.  
Prince: For cry out loud... Remus, can we make him sex deprive?  
Stinky: YES!  
Prince: Just need to ask it for Virgil later.  
Stinky: Well, if he read this I bet he will agree.  
Prince: Hey bro, do you wanna help me?  
Stinky: With?  
Prince: Thinking of writing a horror novel for once.  
Stinky: Oh! I would love it! But let's change chat.  
Prince: Sure.

Virgil rolled his eyes, honestly, these twins... Really are going to kill him! But Janus didn't need to send those pictures.

Emo: just so you all know, im fine... got a bit overwhelmed with the excess of touches and feelings.  
Prince: Ah you're back!  
Prince: But no problem dear. Can you chat at least?  
Emo: yeah...  
Prince: Okay then. Remus and Janus are sleeping. I checked on Janus when he got here.  
Emo: okay... Logan and Patton?  
Prince: Logan is... I don't know?  
Daddy: Lo is doing his work. He has some papers to do for Monday.  
Emo: oh... are you making sure he takes care of himself?  
Daddy: Yeap! He did a pause when I got home. Now he is back till lunch.  
Emo: okay...  
Prince: And I'm stuck, I need Remus to help me with the novel.  
Daddy: Oh...   
Emo: are you sure that is a good idea? won't that open up that mindset and... keep him awake or try to do something?  
Prince: I talked with his psychiatrist first. He said that could be a good idea. Instead of repressing it, trying to put it on another thing less dangerous.  
Emo: and he... approved?  
Prince: Weird isn't it? But I guess is also a nice way to further our bonds. Since we will need to pass more time together.  
Emo: well... if he says so...  
Prince: But I'm going to make sure he doesn't fall in that too much. Breaks and such.   
Daddy: Oh, Virge? Do you want me to let you something at your door to eat? I can let it in your kitchen if it's okay.  
Emo: hm... you can let it in the kitchen... not sure if i will eat. like i was thinking in sleep soon?  
Daddy: Okay kiddo, I will let it on the fridge then.  
Emo: thanks, daddy. guess you were right...  
Daddy: No problems. Now, I will take care of Logan okay? If you need anything text me.  
Emo: okay...  
Prince: What was that?  
Emo: ?  
Prince: You saying that Patton was right.  
Emo: oh... can you... can we talk about it... tomorrow?  
Prince: Sure... Although secrets are no fun. *pout*  
Emo: prince, for goodness, you and Remus need to chill. i promise it's everything fine  
Prince: Can't help, too jealous.  
Emo: ...  
Prince: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine...  
Prince: Tomorrow.  
Emo: going to rest okay?   
Prince: Enjoy your date with Remus. *pout*  
Emo: omg, you two are such a dork and drama queen...  
Prince: GO REST! And stop it!  
Emo: cant help its fun to tease you  
Emo: but fine, i will  
Prince: Good rest love.  
Emo: tks... love you.  
Prince: Love you too.  
Daddy: You two are adorable and I love you twoooooo!!!!!!!  
Emo: ...  
Prince: ...  
Emo: next time private chat?  
Prince: Agreed.

He had to laugh at that, but he was happy with that, although he was still feeling on edge with so many emotions and thoughts, he could at least try to rest. He turned the volume a bit more up, as he got comfy on his bed, hugging one pillow, the blanket over him been really fluffy and cozy. Setting an alarm so he won't be late for his date.

But before he could he had to tease a bit more, so he opened a private chat with Remus and Roman.

Emo: also... im not sure if either of you noticed... but i haven't felt like doing sex lately... so if you want to Janus be sex-deprived... it's up to you both...  
Prince: OH! Oh! That sounds fun!  
Emo: just not going to get guilty on this... mostly because i already told him that im not feeling like that.  
Prince: It's fine stormcloud. We just needed to know that you weren't going to do it, and I and Remus can deal with that, and Janus rage alone.  
Emo: okay...? are you sure about that?  
Prince: Yeap! Well, I will talk more with Remus about it. But, it would be fun.  
Emo: good luck and hopefully he won't kill you both... now nap time  
Prince: Thank you very much, good sleep.  
Emo: tks

He was still unsure about it, but it was the twin's problems, not his so he just got himself comfortable and closed his eyes. A few hours later he heard his alarm as he gots ups, stretching himself as he starts to get ready. As he wasn't sure at all where they are going he just put on his normal jeans, a purple shirt, and his characteristic purple patched black hoodie.

Putting his phone and wallet in his pockets he went downstairs, knocking on Remus's door. Soon he was there, the other was dressing mostly in a similar way, jeans, a green with a black pattern shirt, and a black with a grey color jacket. "Hey there."

"I see you decided to use the jacket I gave you?" Before the one he was using, he loved the one that Remus was using now.

"Yes! So let's go because the night is going to be fun ~!" As the bodyguard closed his door and went further downstairs to get inside the car, everyone had a car license, although Virgil was the only one who didn't have a car. Most because he felt insecure about driving.

"So... Where are we going?" He asked as he put some music, it always kept his and Remus's thoughts far away, but it wasn't loud enough so they could chat comfortably.

"Not going to tell you. We are going to eat junk food though... Since I'm hungry is it okay?"

"Yeah." Since he didn't have lunch, even though Patton mentioned he was going to bring something. He felt kind of hungry, so why not? With that, he could see Remus driving somewhere. "Mc?"

"Yeah, it's been a while so why not?"

"Don't mind." Virgil shrugged at that as he looks around. "So... Jealous about Jan watching me sleep?"

"Ah, you read that?"

"Yeah, he mentioned it when I woke up while working. And later Pat mentioned it. So... Yeah."

"Well, not something new I guess? Did you also read the suggestion of sex deprive Jan?"

"Yeap." Virgil chuckled at that. "Good luck with that, Jan like Logan is very patient so I don't think it will affect him that much."

"Shit, you're right. But but, he is been so teasing!"

"I know." He thought for a moment. "But maybe you and Roman can think of something else? I know you both are pretty creative."

"Fiiiiiiiine..." Remus pouted as he was using a driving-thru for the order. "The always?"

"Yeah."

It wouldn't take that much for him just to find a parking lot, quietly enough, and without people looking for them to be able to eat.

"Oh... Changing the subject. I also read that you're helping Roman to write a horror novel?" He said while eating french fries.

"Oh yeah! It's been nice! He is writing a medieval fantasy history, so it does have werewolves, vampires, and things like that. He does the human's part and I do the monsters ones."

Remus kept talking about the novel while they ate, he was happy and had a lot to say about it. While Virgil didn't mind at all hearing him, it was even fun too. When they both ended up eating, they went to a driving-movie theater, where they choose a cheap horror movie to watch.

"Heck, that was horrible!" Virgil was laughing between the movie. "It's obvious that the killer is behind that door!"

"Look at that fake blood!" Remus was laughing as well, as they both were doing comments about it. They had to go to driving-movies, most because they don't get freaked out by those horror movies like normal, and they would bother the others with laughs. So that was the safest option.

"Oh god, that girl, for fucking sakes she can jump from her window and run! Why the fuck she would stay?!" The caregiver was pointing to the scene.

"Look here comes the killer, can't he see her hair appearing there?" Remus was pointing to a corner of the scene where it was obvious to see the blonde hair.

It would keep going like that till the end of the movie. After that, he would drive without direction, mostly because he didn't plan anything else and because it was a beautiful night. 

"Hey, Remus, can you go near Roman's work?"

"Hm... Yeah?" Although weird, he did that. Soon enough he was parking as he looks at Virgil, the younger between them just getting outside stretching a bit before he started walking. The same path he did with Roman, Patton, and Janus. Although this time Remus was following him.

"So, where are we going Emo?"

"Hm... You will see." This night, it was a bit darker than normal, mostly because of the clouds passing over the moon. Yet as soon as they are there, Remus understood why Virgil wanted to go there, smiling as he sat down near the piano.

Soon the caregiver was playing the piano, it wasn't the same music he played for the three, it was a different one. The music this time started slow but the time increased significantly. It still has a lot of feelings poured into that.

Most important, it has letters. Where he started to sing with it.

> _There's something in the wind  
>  I can feel it blowing in  
> It's coming in softly  
> On the wings of a bomb  
> There's something in the wind  
> I can feel it blowing in  
> It's coming in hotly  
> And it's coming in strong_
> 
> _Lately I've been thinking it's just someone else's job to care  
>  Who am I to sympathize when no one gave a damn?  
> I've been thinking it's just someone else's job to care  
> Who am I to wanna try but_

For once the bodyguard closed his eyes, relaxing to sing the next part.

> _Change is a powerful thing  
>  People are powerful beings  
> Trying to find the power in me to be faithful  
> Change is a powerful thing  
> I feel it coming in me  
> Maybe by the time this song is done  
> I'll be able  
> To be honest, capable  
> Of holding you in my arms without letting you fall when I don't feel beautiful  
> Or stable  
> Maybe it's enough to just be where we are because_

Virgil smiled softly, that was their secret, they both liked to sing together and that song meant a lot for both of them. As they both sing the next part together.

> _Everytime that we run  
>  We don't know what it's from  
> Now we finally slow down  
> We feel close to it  
> There's a change gonna come  
> I don't know where or when  
> But whenever it does  
> We'll be here for it_

He didn't need to look while he was playing the piano, he let his hands play it as he closes his eyes, his body was rocking slowly one side to the other as he returns to sing alone.

> _There's something in the wind  
>  I can feel it blowing in  
> It's coming in softly  
> On the wings of a song  
> There's something in the water  
> I can taste it turning sour  
> It's bitter, I'm coughing  
> But now it's in my blood_
> 
> _Lately I've been thinking it's just someone else's job to care  
>  Who am I to sympathize when no one gave a damn?  
> I've been thinking it's just someone else's job to care  
> 'Cause who am I to wanna try but_

He fell silent, as Remus started to sing his part.

> _Change is a powerful thing  
>  People are powerful beings  
> Trying to find the power in me to be faithful  
> Change is a powerful thing  
> I feel it coming in me  
> Maybe by the time this song is done  
> I'll be able  
> To be honest, capable  
> Of holding you in my arms without letting you fall when I don't feel beautiful  
> Or stable  
> Maybe it's enough to just be where we are because_

Both of them opened their eyes, looking at the sky, feelings deeply in the music, while they sang the last part.

> _Everytime that we run  
>  We don't know what it's from  
> Now we finally slow down  
> We feel close to it  
> There's a change gonna come  
> I don't know where or when  
> But whenever it does  
> We'll be here for it_
> 
> _Hmmm  
>  Yeah, whenever it does  
> We'll be here for it  
> Hmmm  
> Whenever it does  
> We'll be here for it_

Virgil stopped playing the piano, to hear a sniff, he moved so he was now sitting at Remus's side, half hugging him as they both looked at the sky. A couple more tears fell from the other but soon he was back to normal.

"I was supposed to make you emotional! Not me!" The brunet was pouting a bit.

"I wanted to bring you here... Well, I wanted to bring everyone at the same time... But oh well. Remus." He waited for brown eyes to meet his eyes before he kept talking. "I know I'm not perfect. I know I'm a mess. But, I'm really happy with you. I know I don't always express it or show it clearly. But... I'm. I do love you. You don't have to be jealous. I know I haven't been able to pass time with everyone equally and that is why you're feeling like that. And I'm truly sorry about it, but, I do love you. I'm not sure... What I would be if you weren't for me those years ago."

Virgil wasn't sure if he made himself clear enough, but at least, he was trying and Remus probably understood that because he was soon tackled on the floor with the bodyguard hugging him tightly.

"I know Virge. I know. I do have a lot to thank you as well, if you weren't there for me, I'm not sure if I could be what I'm today. You were the one who helped me to stop those thoughts and seek help. I know you love us equally, I know that. I just... Sometimes I wished I could do more like those years... I have been feeling like a failure because of that. I'm feeling jealous because of that. Sorry..." He closes his eyes, trying to hold a sob still burying his head over Virgil's chest.

The purple hair passed his hand over the other's hair caressing gently as he looks to the sky. "Remus, if you're a failure because of that, then I'm too. Also, you don't have anything to be sorry about." He sighed as he tries to relax. "I will tell you one thing, and I want you to remember it whenever you feel jealous. But, don't say it to the others okay?"

Remus moved so they both could be sitting and looking at each other's eyes. "Okay."

"Here it goes..." The caregiver took a deep breath as he looked at him. "You make me feel safe, yeah, sure the others do that too. But you have this aura, that whenever I'm with you I feel safer. I know I don't have to worry about my surroundings. I know I can pay attention to only you and nothing else. I know that you're quick to solve things, so I don't need to worry. I can lower down my defense, I honestly not sure if I'm explaining this... Well enough." Virgil was getting anxious with that as he put his finger over his lips bitting it.

"Yeah, you did." Remus smiled, as he picked Virgil's hand between his. "And you make me feel grounded. You remember me why I decided to be a bodyguard, to learn self-defense and obviously to seek help. I wanted to be better for you. I wanted to help you. I wanted to protect you. You showed me light when I thought everything was rotten. Thanks for remembering me all this Virge."

"You're welcome... Now, the last thing. I talked with Patton he asked me to let him, well everyone but I don't like the idea of him talking for everyone, take care of me more. And... I answered that I can't ask that without feeling selfish, need bitch. And I can't do self-care without feeling... Bad about doing it. So... He said for me let you guys ask me for this. But I don't want you to just ask it without thinking about it. Just... Wanted you to know that----" 

Remus cut him, by placing a small peck on the other's lips. "I love you. Virgil, I love you. I love you a lot, I could say it all day, well... That is a more likely Roman thing to do. But, you're lovely, you care about us more than you care about you. And I don't think I need to ask for you to let me care about you. Because I already do that. But, let me phrase this okay? Can you let me take care of you like you take care of me?"

He thought about it if he was true to himself, Remus truly took care of him already in any way and time possible. "Yes... If you want..."

The mustache moved as he was smiling wide. "You're so adorable when embarrassed." Without any warning, he tackled the other back to lay there, burying his head on his chest. "I love you, Virgil. Even though I don't say that much, because I don't want to sound like Roman, but... I do love you a lot. And even if we weren't dating I would still want to protect you because you're my truest friend. It's not like you do a big deal over things, even though when the thing should be a big deal."

"Yeah... Let's say Patton was pissed about it. Maybe you will need to say this for me a few more times though..."

"No problem. Don't mind. After all, you do the same with me. Noooow let's change this sap talk and moment, if we don't have anything else to talk about, how about we go back home and pass the night watching more cheap horror movies?"

"Sounds good to me. But first, you need to get off from me!" He laughed as he tries to push the other lightly, trying to fight.

"Owh Emo, I can't." Remus joked as he pushes against the other, he knew it was okay with Virgil for now, so he was fighting against the push.

"You can!" With that, it started a mock fight, he would push the other to a point where Remus was under him, but soon he was been pulled in a tight hug, and Virgil was back in pushing the other to try break free of the hug. Both were laughing, till the moment that Virgil started to gasp and having a hard time breathing. That is when Remus stopped and sat the other, holding his shoulder to keep him sitting instead of falling.

"Okay, let's go back." The bodyguard said as he got up and holding Virgil's hand they did their way back home. When they get there they went to the caregiver's apartment first to him change his clothes and then to Remus's apartment. They both got their phones to chat with the rest.

Emo: we are back  
Stinky: Altho we are going to pass the night awake, so we will be jumping breakfast.  
Daddy: Okay, I will call both for lunch them.  
Emo: ok, night  
Stinky: Good night.

With that, both let their phone away and started watching cheap horror movies, where they laughed about how horrible the action was. Filled with comments where the flaws were, and how easy was to spot the killer hiding or the victim.

When it was nearly 6 am though, Virgil was already sleeping on Remus's lap. Where the older between then carried him to his bedroom and cuddle with him there. "Good night, Vee." And the caregiver just moved in instincts to cuddle with the other murmuring a weird. "night".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much writer's block with this chapter... I just couldn't bring myself to type this. But then I found the sides playlist on Spotify, tried Janus, and just found the perfect muse. Yeah... That music is there. But after that, I was finally able to write this.


	9. Lazy Sunday... Or not?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He never thought that they would want to talk about it so quickly, but oh well... It happened. For more pissed he was, he couldn't help but feel happy.

Sunday was a lazy day he wouldn't have anything to do, mostly because he always gave that day free for himself, sure sometimes Virgil would work, but he would avoid it as much as possible. With five boyfriends and with his work been chaotic, he needed it. Obviously, not always it would be like that.

Like right now, he woke up in Remus's arm, with Patton knocking on their door. "Morning kiddos ~" The younger said happily, as Remus was still sleeping and Virgil was pushing his face on the older chest. "Morning..." He murmured.

"Hey, Remus needs to wake up, or he will be late for his work." Patton said calmly. "Or at least he won't have the chance to eat something."

"Oh..." The caregiver didn't want to move, but Patton was pocking on his anxiety, which makes him move to look at the clock. "Right... I will wake him up..." As he started to move, he could sit on the bed, stretching himself as this time Remus wasn't holding him tight, so he probably was still sleeping.

"I will serve something for you both to eat, okay?" Virgil just nodded for that, then the vet left, leaving only the two there. "Hey Remus, wake up." He shook the older, till the bodyguard was finally sitting on the bed. "Morning... Virge." It was lazy and slow, but eventually, they both make their way downstairs and to Patton's apartment.

When they got there, Patton already served some food for both of them, where they ate silently. After that, he received a kiss from Remus, that now has more energy to get ready for work. It was still a lazy day after he eats then Virgil went to his room, throwing himself on the bed.

He didn't have anything planned for today, so he was mainly scrolling over Tumblr. A knock broke the silence of his home, as he got up to meet whoever was there; the caregiver was a bit in shock to meet Logan and Janus. The second-youngest gave them space to get in and then closed his door to sit on the couch.

"Sorry to disturb you." Logan said as he gets inside the home and then sits on Virgil's left side. Janus went as well sit on Virgil's right side.

"Not a problem, I was only scrolling Tumblr... So what's up?" Purple hair falling a little over his eyes as he was starting to feel anxious about this.

"We came here to ask you. Will you consider letting us take care of you?" Janus was blunt as he asked. 

"Ah... Patton talked about that..." He wasn't surprised as they probably all ate breakfast together, and that is when things happened, probably.

"Yes, he did." Logan answered, fixing his glasses on his nose before continuing. "I should say: it hurt a bit to know how you feel in this relationship. Because it seems that I didn't do enough..." He trailed off as he wasn't sure how to keep talking.

The professor seemed to notice and then pick up. "Virge, we were friends for years now, why... Why you still think you're a bother to us?" Janus wasn't sure if that was the perfect time to talk about it, but they both decided that they had the same questions, then they would cut some slack for the other. 

"I... Don't? Like, when I'm okay, I can reason with myself, say that everything is fine, say that you guys love me, and the thoughts will shut up. It's on the days where I'm not, that--- I can't. I'm having a lot of bad days recently, which mess with me. That lead me to be confused and can't deal with it. Just--- Yeah, I can let you guys take care of me, but that implies dealing with those thoughts. Deal with the fact that somedays I will tell or say things as I hate myself, I don't deserve you guys, or say that..." He trailed off this time, not able to repeat what he told a few days ago.

Janus and Logan stayed quiet while waiting for him to keep speaking, where it wouldn't take too much time. "That is why I told I couldn't ask for been take care of without feeling a needy bitch, that is why I said for Patton that you all needed to considerate it before asking me. Because I know it's too much. I know it's bad."

The silence, as they all think about it, but eventually it was Logan who broke it. "Virgil? We already knew it. No, please, hear me out." He took a breath before he kept speaking. "You did it pretty clear when we met; you pushed us away, you didn't try to befriend us. We were the ones to practically force you to be friends with us. But I believe that you also wanted it otherwise you wouldn't stay around us. When you told us about your anxiety, we finally understood what was happening. So we started to learn about it. Not just me, but Patton and Roman as well. I can't say for Janus or Remus, but we tried to study it because we wanted to be friends with you. That is why we slowly changed how to speak with you or around you because we wanted to be around you, and be friends with you, and make you feel comfortable with us. You didn't ask for it, but we did because we wanted. We did it willingly."

The med took a deep breath. "So we know it's too much for you, we know that we can't change how you speak about yourself or the thoughts that pop up in your head, but we can help. And we will keep helping. I'm just asking for you to let us keep doing what I was already doing. I know you already give consent to Patton keep doing what he is doing, but will you let me?"

"Are you sure about it, Logan?" Virgil's voice was quiet. Even if he didn't know how to answer what Logan just said, it meant so much for him.

"Yes."

"You guys... I don't know what I did right to deserve it, but--- Okay." The caregiver had a small smile as he looks at the second-older, although his thoughts were cut by Janus poking his side.

"I'm offended that I need to ask you permission to take care of you. When all that I did since when we first met, was to help you." The professor pouts as he looked at Virgil. "Virgil, I told you, again and again, I love you. Your thoughts don't disturb me, yeah, I know you shouldn't think like that, but I told you once, I will be here to help. You want someone to only listen to you? I will be here. You want someone to be a shoulder to cry and not talk; I will be here. You want to talk and have someone to reason about it? I will be here. You want someone to ground you? I will be here. I care about you. And I will move and do anything to prove this to you. So since I need to voice this, will you let me keep what I have been doing?"

"Jan... Yes, again--- What I did right to deserve such marvelous boyfriends?" Virgil was crying in happiness; it was a wonder. The caregiver wasn't sure how he felt right now, blessed? Yeah, the second-youngest felt so much blessed to have marvelous boyfriends. As he pulls both of them in a side hug, he needed it as he tries to calm down and understand all those emotions.

They would stay there till dinner, where they showed up together, which got a jealous look from Roman. But an understandable expression from Patton. Later on that day, Virgil found himself again on his bed alone, thinking about everything.

He was still not sure if he deserved all that love, but at least he knew; they wanted to do it for him, willing. And stop to think now, as well remembering. They did change quite a lot once; the caregiver never understood why, with Logan's confession, he could put the pieces together. He would also enjoy this moment to sort what he was feeling, the happiness to have found such lovely boyfriends, until---

Another knock, he was wondering if he would have a moment of peace today?! Although slightly annoyed, he knew who would be there. "Prince, you were late." He said in a mocking tone, joking as he let the other get inside.

"A Prince is never late!" Roman answered in the same mocking tone as he looks at Virgil. "Thought you would like a cuddle buddle tonight?" The writer was a bit more serious as he talks.

"That would be... good. But come on, Prince, spit out, I know you want to talk." He showed a bit of how annoyed he was right now.

"Vee, are you... Annoyed?"

"A bit, it's Sunday. What I do on Sundays?"

Roman thought for a bit before a realization hit him, and he finally understands. Shrinking a bit on his pose and looking shyly. "It's your _you_ day. You didn't have last week." A small pause. "Oh, Virgil, I'm sorry. I can wait to talk with you tomorrow." Roman felt guilty. He was most of the time with Virgil; the writer was supposed to know it.

A long sigh as the caregiver pulls the other for his bedroom and so lying there cuddling with him. Doing the brunet look at him with confusion on his brown eyes. "Tomorrow... Now I want cuddles. I'm tired. This week was just; confusing and full of panic attacks, feelings and all. I want to sleep a lot. Because this week will be another one full of work." Virgil says tiredly. The caregiver closed his eyes on the other's chest.

"Okay Vee... Good night and sweet dreams." Roman says softly, placing a small kiss over purple hairs.

"Night..." Won't take too much for Virgil to fall asleep. No matter how much he slept today, he was still tired and just wanted to sleep. It wasn't the same protection feeling he felt with Remus, but it was still warm.

He woke up in the middle of the night, which wasn't a surprise to him. Roman was still sleeping, clinging to him, where Virgil smiled at the sigh as he moved slowly but quietly to be off the bed. Picking up his phone, he saw some messages and the hour.

 _"3 am, nice."_ Without thinking, he picked up his jacket and phone and then went upstairs, passing the water tanks, and he would be in the ceiling, looking at the black and blue sky with the stairs. Breathing the cold air as he sits on the floor, it was peaceful, quiet, and more important? He was alone.

He put some random music just so he could have a back noise, not hearing as he drifts on his thoughts. The week was so full of things that now was a nice moment to take in all the talks and feelings he felt. Sometimes he felt tears fall when he remembered some touching moment like the one he had with Janus, Roman, Patton in the forest.

It took him some hours, well the Sun was already rising, it was already 6 am? For him to accept everything and make peace with his thoughts about that past week, but he would still be there looking for the Sun Rising on the horizon.

He was back to be lost in thoughts as he looks at the sky, till his music stopped by a few seconds. That is when he knew that someone sends him a message. Again picking up his phone, he could see the private text.

Prince: Are you in the ceiling again?  
Emo: yes  
Prince: Are you okay?  
Emo: yes  
Prince: Virge...  
Emo: im okay Roman. i just need some time to think you know?  
Prince: Oh... Okay. I am pushing too much?  
Emo: ...  
Prince: Virgil, I won't be mad about whatever you want to tell me.  
Emo: im going down wait a minute, that is not something we should do over a discord chat.  
Prince: Okay.

He sighed as he moved, pocketing his phone, and just going downstairs. Opening his apartment door, he could see Roman sitting on the couch waiting for him.

"Okay, hear me out." He closed the door sitting at the writer's side. "I'm mad at you. Your intentions were good, and I know that. But did you really had to talk with them about that night?!"

"No. Thinking now... I shouldn't have. It was just one bad night, and I did a big deal over that. Something that I know you don't like. But what I was supposed to do, Virgil?! Just sit there?"

"Yes! Or at least waited till the next time and talked with me! And I will explain why. Because what you did? For me, it seemed like you didn't trust me: Like I was a 5-year-old child who needed daddy to tell mommy that the kid was sick because the kid is too scared of the consequences."

"That... Is a weird way to explain..."

"Shut up, don't call my kid-friendly explanation weird. What I'm saying is: You took my right to ask for help, on my own accord. I would eventually realize the big problem in taking care of Aaron, and I would end up asking for help. But you just took it and threw it at them! Then you all started to plan how to deal with me and take care of me! Do you know how much you make me feel like a kid?!"

"No..."

"Exactly." Virgil was mad, yet he took a deep breath as he tries to relax, putting his hand on his jacket pockets. "Your defense is?"

"I wanted to help and didn't think about how it would affect you, or what were your thoughts about it... I thought that they needed to know that a problem was starting to appear and you would have a bad week. And I totally ignored how you would feel. Thinking now... All that I can say is: I'm sorry."

The caregiver let out a small sigh as he closes his eyes for a bit, letting Roman think about it and absorb it. Two minutes later or more, Virgil finally was back to talk. "Apologizes accepted. I'm mad at you for that, but I need to agree that your impulsive act did help in the end. I could say things I was holding back. In the end, it probably fasted the process of finding that I needed help with Aaron."

The silence was back, although this time, the writer was looking for the caregiver waiting for him to keep going. A small sigh as he kept going. "Roman, next time, please talk to me?"

"Yes. I will. I guess Logan was right." Roman said with a small snort, receiving a confusing looking, where he kept speaking after he cleared his throat. "He came to talk to me after the family breakfast... Where I told them about you. He told me... You would be mad for me calling you out. But Virgil! I thought it was a good thing! They would know that you're having problems with work, and we would adapt things like normally we do because we want you to be good. And then it would avoid you the awkward moment to explain and ask for help!"

"If I don't ask for help... If others keep doing it for me. When I will learn to have the courage to do it on my own?"

A moment of silence, as realization struck Roman why that Virgil was mad about him. Virgil was never a person to ask for help when he needed it, he would either push them away or try to fix everything alone. When he asked for help was because it was way too obvious or just because someone offered. "Oh... OH!"

"Exactly. Yeah, it was helpful, but the thing is if I or if you all want me to learn how to create the courage to ask for help, you just... Cut one chance for that to happen."

"Oh... Virgil, I'm sorry."

A long moment of silence, where Roman was biting his lower lip and staring at the floor, Virgil for once wasn't sure what he should talk. Lucky for them, their phone ring with a message.

Daddy: Morning! Breakfast is ready.  
Snake: Give me 10 and I will be there.  
Emo: 5.  
Prince: What Virgil said.  
Stinky: Need 10 as well.  
Logic: I need to finish my work. Start without me, I will take at least 30.  
Daddy: Okay.

Virgil was the one to cut the silence. "As I said, I'm mad... And I want you to promise me that you will talk to me next time, instead of calling me out. Then we can move on. I'm planing on your date, I will probably have that planned for the next Saturday."

Roman smiled at that as he took a deep breath. "Yeah, I promise, Virgil. I think my whole problem is that I sometimes forget that you grow up... That we all did."

"That was something I expected from Patton..." He raised an eyebrow but did smile nevertheless. "Well, as I did with Remus, I will tell you something I love about you. You were the one that I'm most comfortable in be around and be myself. I don't need to worry about what I will tell you, I also don't feel like I'm bothering you that much when I text you at random times of the day. I just know that I can be me, and I know you will pick me up and put it together." He smiled at that.

Roman was speechless as he moves to hugs the younger, placing small kisses over his head. "I love you, Virgil."

"I love you too. Now let's go before Pat call us?" He chuckled at that as he hugs the other a bit, after a few seconds, they were both letting go.

"Right."

They were late for 2 minutes, but as it was just Patton they didn't mind that much. Soon the others would be there, and they would start to eat. Logan would show up when they were nearly finishing to eat, but he did. With the medic there, Patton and Janus told him their schedule so the other could make an excel of that. When they finished, both had to leave to work, Roman still had some time till his class. So they all stayed there talking and organizing the excel.

Honestly, looking at they organizing the schedule, did Virgil believe that the last week they didn't change anything for him. Smiling, he just let himself enjoy the rest of the breakfast with his boyfriend, for now totally forgetting about his own work in a few hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clarify, I didn't drop this, I will continue this, I just hit a big writer's block with this series. Since it was based on a real life event, and life happened. So I might return this on February.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I typed this but, I do know what I wanted, I just wanted some understanding and that they all care. It's more to make things clear, even though I'm pretty sure it was clear enough? As I said I wanted to turn this into a serie. I just don't know why or how.
> 
> I honestly want to write more as them human and on his universe, if you have suggestion drop it down at my tumblr: emiisanxious.


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